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How do you move on after a breakup?
well, my boyfriend and i of 6 months, broke up on Monday. i was sorta happy, but VERY upset at the same time. He says he's over me. But, my bestfriend who is also one of his good friends says hes been "quite, or depressed" and so on. which has me thinking because he is NEVER quite. I'm working on getting over him, but the memories however, are holding me back from moving on. We don't talk a lot anymore, and honestly...it kills me. But i NEED to move on...any ideas?
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It will take time to get over him completely. You can't expect to get over him overnight.
It's different for every person. Some people can get over it in a couple weeks, some people it takes months, and some people it takes years.
Now, people who take years to get over someone, that's because they didn't try nor did they really want to.
You don't want to sit and drown in the memories. You want to try and do your best to stop thinking about him.
Best way is to cut contact with him. Don't keep talking to him, don't have him as a friend on facebook because it's easier to go and check up on him.
Find other things to do to get your mind off him. Find things you love to do or try new things. Times after breaks up and great times to start doing something different with your life.
Go out with your friends and have a good time. Just ask your friend not to talk about him about how he's been and such. Because you don't want to be thinking he's not over you yet, because it will make it ten times harder to get over him.
So take your time, tell yourself you will get over him, and eventually you will.
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I had a daughter go through this first with her first boyfriend and then with a 2nd one. With the first, she actually went into depression, couldn't eat, sleep, wanted to move on and knew it was for the best but it was hard. She relied on having me to talk all her feelings out to. The memories that held her back from moving on and finding someone else. I can't say how much time it will take you to finally not be tortured by the memories...it's different for everyone. But one trick is to distract yourself whenever those thoughts crop up. You know best what activities captivate your mind. For me it is gardening, online games. Indulge in those activities. If while you're driving, the thoughts come, have some of your favorite music to play to listen to, concentrate on the words if you dont sing, all the better if you sing along. Things like this will help you cope until enough time has passed.
Do not be concerned about your boyfriend. He needs to learn to deal with his side of it and neither you nor anyone else can do that for him.
By the way, wondering if you have a clue what was not working in the relationship...since you say you were sort of happy. It would be good to be honest with yourself, to know what to avoid for next relationship or you will have another relationship that is ok but not spectacular. We want to shoot for spectacular...don't we girl?
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My advice would be to live in the present focus on something you have always wanted to do or that you are interested in. After a breakup its always good to focus on yourself for a while.
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