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what is acceptable
Im 21, my boyfriend is 22. We have been together for over 3 years. We have been doing a sort of long distance for 2 years as i have attended college away from home. I am recently getting frustrated at the fact that we have been together so long, and he is making no plans or mentions to move to the next step, such as moving in. I am an hour away going to college and have a senior year and masters left. He is currently finishing his associates at our community college at home and has no plans after job wise or continuing education. I know he is only 22, do you think this is normal for his age being confused, or do you think that he should be able to tell me what he wants and should be considering the next step.I have mentioned to him how I cant just wait around, but i dont wanna put to much pressure because he is only 22, but at the same time how do i know i am not wasting my own time?
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They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. This is not always true. Also not always true is that a 22 year old male has matured enough or is as mature as you are at 21, so his being confused about his future can be somewhat normal.
The differences are; you are away from home living on your own in a somewhat structured environment though still mainly responsible for yourself. This has forced you to mature in many ways he has not. He is living at home with his parents just as he did in high school.
You two are seeing the world form two different prospectives. He from the security of his parents home and you from a semi-structured environment of College where you are required to be more self-reliant. This is a major difference and forces you to mature faster then him.
Now long distance romances are hard to maintain in any situation. A one hour drive between you is not all that far. One of you should be able to make that drive if you both have access to cars on weekends. Of course you did not say if either of you or both of you have part-time jobs that would make this hard or even impossible.
If the part-time jobs are not the problem then what is. If cars are available a one hour drive says you two are about 45 to 55 miles apart. Given the average fuel economy for today's cars that's between 3 and 5 gallons of gas or between $15 and $20 cost for a trip. Why has one of you not made the trip once or twice a month?
When you answer that question, if it is a question; since you have not mention how often you visit each other. Then you will know if you are wasting your time.
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I see a few problems
1, Distance
2, You are both in college
He msy not be entirely ready to take a next step just yet. I didn't move in with my husband until I was 23. So yes, He may be 22 but he may also just not be ready. You both are in college and he may be feeling the stress from that, The only reason to know for is to talk him about it but do not pressure him. My honest opinion, Wait until you both at least graduate college.
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