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Hi all I'm 17 and I'm a female. I have been seeing a guy that is 21 on and off for 11 months now. At the start it was only meant to be a friends with benefits relationship, but we started to grow feelings for each other. I know he has had this crush on a girl for 3 years now, but has never asked her out nor had a girlfriend, even though he is a good looking guy. Long story short he told me he wanted to be with me and loved me, but soon left me for the first girl (Kassie). I was left heartbroken because all along I knew it, but didn't leave. We didn't talk for a good month or so, and we started talking again and I forgave him and took him back. It seems like I'm always second option, it seems like he can never make time for me and when I bring the subject up it's almost as like it goes through one ear an out the other. I love him but he treats me like crap, and he kind of makes himself distant from me and I wonder what I do wrong. We stopped seeing each other for a while, and I met a guy that is 18 and had a baby. He lied to me about the baby, but I sooner found out the information ( I heard from Corey, 21 year old), about having a child was true. He's really sweet, and nice and makes me feel good about myself, but I am not attracted to him and it feels like he talks to lots of girls. I'm really confused on what to do, and whether to not talk to either of them. Corey tells me he loves me and doesn't want anyone but me, but still hasn't made it official, but John wants me and wants to be with me. I just don't feel like I can trust either of them, but deep down I love Corey for the person he used to be.
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Well since the beginning of yours and Corey's relationship, it wasn't headed the right way.
It started off as a friends with benefits and then became more but he had a crush on another girl as well.
He lied when he said he wanted to be with you. If he did want to be with you, he would've chose you over her.
You don't ever want to be a second option. You don't even want to be an option. You want them to want you and only you.
My opinion? This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.
Is John the boy with a child? Well, first of all, he shouldn't have lied about the baby but other than that, you have to realize that you will never be put first in his life. Like Zane said, he will always put the baby first, that's his job. The mother will probably be around too.
Besides that, you are 17 and have so much more time ahead and so many more guys to meet.
I wouldn't date either of them. You said you feel like you can't trust either of them so you shouldn't try to get with someone who you can't trust. I'd stop talking to both of them.
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You are a second option, You are basically his doormat.
This guy used you, He didn't want to be alone so he used you and then jumped onto Kassie as soon as he had the chance. You should of never forgave him, Never forgive anyone who treats you like a rebound. My advice here is to cut contact with him and let him go.
As for the kid with the baby, You got to understand that people with babies are package deals. Meaning they have a little extra baggage and less time on their hands. You need to know that the child will always come before you and the whole baby mama will always somewhat be in the picture. As a 17 year old you are much better off finding someone who isbt s user and tied up with a kid.
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