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Will my aunt hurt my uncle?
My uncle was recently diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. He has just begun chemo and has to take alot of medications. He lives with his wife, my aunt, and thier daughter, my cousin, helps take care of him. My cousin recently shared with me that my uncle told her he is afraid his wife will not give him his medicine or may give him the wrong kind. He meant this to mean she would intentionally do something to hurt him.
We have all noticed that my aunt has recently been very concerned about her appearance, and has been going out with friends more. My uncle told my cousin that he had noticed it as well. He said it makes him feel like a fool. She has behaved this way in the past when she was having an affair.
He is also concerned about his will because my aunt wants to do it for him, and basically leave everything to herself. Uncle does not want this.
We are mostly concerned with keeping him safe and his stress levels low. He does not want anyone else to know about these feelings, and we dont want to create unneccesary drama.
What should we do?
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One of the better things your uncle can do is speak to his doctor or a lawyer about his concerns.
Both your uncle and your aunt are under a lot of stress and facing a lot of uncertainty and fear. It's perfectly possible that your aunt is handling her stress by leaning on her friends and trying to escape her troubles with them, and your uncles stress is being placed into fears about his care and his will. These are understandable ways for both of them to try and handle something that is legitimately beyond them.
But these worries and weights shouldn't be put directly on their daughter. That's not fair and it doesn't do anything but spread the stress around.
Whoever is in charge of your uncle's treatment is probably the first and best person to ask for advice. They might know of people he can talk to to make sure he understands his medications and can keep them straight himself (or can get pharmacist or nurse to assist him) and which lawyers or therapists are available to him to talk about his arrangements or help him manage his stress.
It's a tough time for them all, but putting this on his daughter and swearing her to secrecy isn't the right way to 'reduce drama'. That just makes her suffer needlessly without offering any solutions. Your uncle has real concerns and things he needs to deal with. Talking to professionals honestly, and getting some legal and medical advice are the ways to deal with this.
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