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My husband doesn't want my daughter anymore
I remarried 4 years ago, my daughter was 4. Her dad and I shared physical custody...in a half week there and half week with me and my husband. In the 4 years that my husband has been her stepdad, she has been unable to have a true bond with him. She will ignore him at times, not say hello, ignore his questions. She will pull away from physical contact with him and is generally very disobedient to him. My husband has the added pressure/issue of having PTSD. Well, the other day he snapped and told her to go to her dad's house and not come back. Their relationship, to me, is no longer healthy. He has too much built up resentment to love her as she needs/should be loved. But, I still love her very much and want to remain in her life.
My only options are to either be a mom from afar or to leave my husband.
I don't know if I can forgive my myself for hurting her like this. I'm also unsure if I can forgive my husband for doing this.
Right now though, I need to know what to tell my daughter. My husband wants me to pack up all her stuff and take it to her father's house.
Please help.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
Well first off, you should talk to your daughter. Have a serious, long talk with her, but be gentle in approaching her for she might shut down about talking about it. Ask her whats wrong , why she doesnt like your husband, etcetc. And explain to her that hes not there to replace her dad , hes there because he loves you and you both make each other happy and that its important to you that they get along. And that they both have to work things out and you have to find out what the real problem is and try to help her through it. Your husband shouldnt be so cold, she might be going through a rough time adjusting to him , accepting theres a new man in her life, or maybe her dad talks badly about him and because of that shes mean to your husband. So just talk it out and figure out whats the problem and how it can be worked through. And you need to explain to your husband that she might be going through a rough time and needs to be supportive. If that doesnt work then maybe she should stay at her dads for a while so you can figure things out with your husband. Do you want a man who does this to your daughter? But if you divorced and got someone else, would your daughter be the same way to them? Maybe you need to put your foot down and tell him not to treat your daughter that way and that she can stay when she wants. And theyre just gonna have to figure out a way themselves. Sorry I couldnt be much more help. Good luck though!
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