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friends w/ benefits.
19/f.
This sounds strange but I went through a relationship with my ex where we didn't really have sex a lot or anything else. I love sex and feel it's so emotionally connecting. Anyways I went to high school with this guy and we ended up sleeping together one night.(hes 21) Anyways since that happened, we've slept with each other on the last two saturdays this month. He normally calls me around 3 am when he's done partying with his friends and I'll pick him up and we'll go to his house. This sounds ridiculous in the views of some one else, but honestly I don't mind it. Honestly I do have a "liking" for him but at this point I'm happy to just get what I want, (sex) and I know he's happy too. I feel like I've missed out a lot with my previous relationship and even if we aren't talking, I'm not stressed anymore. This is the first time i'm experiencing this friends with benefits type of relationship. I mean as long as I'm happy right now I feel like I shouldn't stress/analyze the situation right? I'm young. But my real question is statistically do friends w/ benefits, work out in the long run? do they more often turn into relationships or not?
If we became something i'd sort of be interested but i'm NOT TRYING to rush anything. I know that sounds ironic since we already slept together. Thoughts, exc? Negative comments don't bother leaving what ever has happened happened. Looking toward the future.
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Hi there. Replied very recently to a post regarding casual/no-strings sex. Whether, and how successfully it works out depends largely on expectations. If you both genuinely want no-strings, recreational sex then the arrangement is mutually beneficial and since both parties get precisely what they expect, neither will feel dissapointed or let down when the relationship doesn't progress further. It's absolute nonsense to say that a deep, or indeed ANY emotional commitment is essential to enjoying sex. (If anyone chooses to disagree with this statement, would they please inbox me explaining why prostitution exists, and is 'the worlds oldest profession'!!) It will 'work' as long as neither of you begin to feel that sex should, or must imply a deeper commitment. Of course, if you both decide to make the relationship more formal, fine. But where just one of you has this feeling there is immediately a conflict of expectation and the mutually beneficial nature of the arrangement will break-down. Possibly with a good deal of hurt and recrimination. Ultimately it will not last indefinitely...it will either become an attempt at a committed relationship, or it will have to go...since it precludes any other committed relationship. Unless the new partner is VERY understanding, or very naive indeed!! In the meantime it is neither right or wrong, simply what you want and what you have chosen. Statistcally, as you mentioned it...the number of adults who drift through their entire adult life, together, but 'not together' as it were, and with no commitment to one another at all must be extremely small. Because this means in effect you have both 'committed to a lifetime of non-commitment' which is rather too 'circular' to be sustainable...it must run out of momentum??
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Okay let me say this. Buy asking the question you have asked of us you are in away analyzing and questioning this relationship.
The answer to part of your question is: Friends w/benefit relationships rarely go further than that. It does happen but it is rare.
The real question is one only you can answer.
I believe you understand, for now, that you are being used. He goes out, parties, does not hook up is horny and calls you for guaranteed sexual relief. For now you are okay with this.
You say you are sort of interested in him and do not want to rush anything. How will you feel as you feelings grow for him that are not returned by him though he continues to use you? This is the question you have to ask yourself and answer.
The past is the past we can't change that. You say that yourself. You are looking toward the future and I believe the question I asked is the one you must answer for yourself before and if you decide to continue this relationship.
Friends with benefits usually ends up with someone being very hurt. That person is usually the person providing the benefit. That person can be both male or female. You sound like a nice women who doesn't deserve to be hurt if he does not return your interest.
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I have been in a friends with benefits relationship once. I was feeling the same way you were. I'm 18 and the guy I was with is 20. It didn't last or go anywhere.
From what I know, most girls who get involved in a friends with benefits relationship normally end up liking the guy to where they want more than just sex and messing around. The guys don't because they've been doing this and they have freedom, don't need to really worry about an actual relationship.
Statistically, no they don't normally turn into relationships. I think it's because you skip the "stages". Like, getting to know someone, dating, then eventually becoming intimate.
There are on rare occasions where friends with benefits turned into more, it's not impossible.
If you are looking for a real relationship that also involves sex, I'd start with getting to know someone else unless this guy actually shows genuine interest in you or if he just calls you up for sex.
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