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im heart broken and cant figure out if its my fault or not?
i have been with him for 5 years and reading all the things i have been reading on this website is showing me that he may just not be inlove or hes sick in his head and loves two women. so... he has been wanting me hard for the whole time however doing things that dont make sence on the side. he has this friend thats a girl. they owned a bar and a house together. I have not been welcomed to ethier of those places. now i know how that sounds but!!! he spends all holidays and weekends with me and swears she is just a fat bitch jelouse friend. i met her sister i call the bar and talked to her friends and they all told me they are just friends. but why am i not allowed to meet her? why am i not allowed the house my man owns and she lives in? but there not together? he asked my parents for permission to marry me.. im so confused i dont know what to think... i dont understand there relationship or what hes trying to pull.... mind u .. im hot,, shes fat and has three kids and her baby daddy is in prison and he been playenb baby daddy for her cause there " friends". but he texes me all day everyday how much he loves me. i have met there other roomates that are frie3nds with her and it seemd ok im his girl and there not together. however im not 9okay with not being able to meet her ? and i cant come to my own mans house ? why? wtf am i suppose to think!!!!! or do!! i cant sleep i cant eat.. i cant work.. i have named tatted on my lower parts... im lost and i need to know what could be going on. i dont understand this mentality. i grew up in a good home in nh and he grew uop in a abusive home in oakland.. i dont kinow what to do my heart is so broken i want to write this girl a letter but i dont know if its a good idea... i liked your open comment.. it was right on point with how i feel about things... you are open minded and id like to know your advice... thank you jennifer
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This poem is often attributed to Oprah, but I don't think that it's something she wrote. In any case, it should make you think.
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who have a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are. Even if he has has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending.. Compromise is a two way street. You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage.. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complimentary.. not supplementary.
Dating is fun.. Even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. When a man always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him ~ he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phil says.. You should know that: You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one. They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts... ❤
You're not in a good relationship. He needs to change or you need to leave. What he is doing is not acceptable. The fact that you are questioning whether or not it's your fault should be enough to tell you how very badly he is treating you. No man should ever speak of a woman, especially one that he has daily contact with, by calling her fat, jealous, or a bitch. That says a lot about him right there and how he thinks of women. I wonder what he says about you when you're not around. This is his personality and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. It is how he is and you do not have the power to cause it or to change it. He is simply just not a very good person. It is not acceptable behavior and you absolutely cannot allow it.
You need to stop calling the woman that he keeps from you "fat". It is extremely unbecoming of you to be so judgmental of and cruel to a person that you don't know. Look what he is turning you into. Direct your resentment toward the person that is actually harming you, not her.
I am so sorry that this is happening to you. Unfortunately, not only are you the one being harmed, but you are also the one that needs to stand strong and end this relationship as soon as possible. Do not go back to him for any reason, ever. I wish you the best of luck and I can assure you that you will be much happier without him in your life and with some time, you'll find someone that can give you the love and respect that you both need and deserve. He will not change and he will not learn that what he is doing to you is wrong if you do not leave him for good.
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