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humorist-workshop
I need help on how to cope with a classmate's death
and the fact that I won't be able to attend her funeral tomorrow afternoon.
This was a girl-my age-who was in a car crash with her mom and two other boys, though they are fine and her mom is crying and blaming it on herself, the entire school is feeling it's effects. She died on Tuesday, Tuesday afternoon, I learned Wednesday. Everybody was crying and hugging each other, some even went home of sadness and paranoia, the shock really. Her locker is now covered with cards and heaven wishes, and my locker is next to hers. I cry when I go to my locker now, cry when I see my friends cry. I did avoid my locker today, and yesterday too. The whole week Wednesday forward has been unstable. I cry in my sleep now, and I had a nightmare last night. My parents have tried to cheer me up, but it's not working. I didn't even know the poor sweet girl, yet I feel a sort of connection with her, and she was only in one of my classes (homeroom) and my Gym class. She was an athlete, playing three sports in one year, another to grow on that. But she's gone now ... I wish I had gotten to know her better, have said "bye" to her before we left school Tuesday ... but it's too late.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Grief has many different stages. Right now you are suffering one of the 5 to 8 stages of grief a person goes through when someone they know, even casually dies.
I am a bit surprised that your school has not supplied grief counseling for those like you who need it. Since the school may not be providing grief counseling I suggest you ask mom and dad to ask your family doctor for a recommendation on a grief counselor.
A trip to the family doctor for you would also be in order as the doctor can supply medication to help you through this period.
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Last year, a boy in our school passed away due to an enlarged heart condition. He always smiled and was the nicest person I knew. However, we weren't super close, just friends. In a high school of 150 kids, his passing was a large deal. It was an awful day filled with crying, tears, and regrets. A preacher came and did a small ceromony for a few hours that day. I understand that this is hard. You feel like you should have gotten to know them, and it made me fear how easily our friends and family can pass away. This is one of those times that life seems to remind us that we need to treat others as if it was the last day we would see them. Try to remember that she is in a better place. I don't know what religion, if any, you are part of, but I beleive we go to somewhere where there is no pain. Try to remember her as she was, mabye talk to a friend about it. It really helped me to call up my best friend and talk about it and cry. Neither one of us knew how to react to the situation and it helped that we did it together. Time doesn't heal all wounds, but it does help. Eventually, her death will become less stinging and you will learn to cope with the sadness. I am so sorry you have to go through this and hope you feel better. Take care.
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How about you getting together with her mom and her friends and talk about having some kind of ceremony for the whole school or something like that so that way you all can have some kind of closer and move on with your lives.Do you think she would want you all to be sad over her an not move on. If you don't want to do that I mean get that involved how about just suggesting that to a friend of hers and see what she says but her friends probably would like to do something for her don't know what to do to make it happen though so that's where you can help them with ideas if they ask that is.But if the whole school is affected by it you guys should do something so that way you all will remember her, not forget her, and move on. If you and all would like to you can keep her locker as a momento until the end of the school year. I hope that I helped you some good luck.
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This happened to me when I was in high school. If you continue having nightmares and feeling stressed, go talk to a counselor about your feelings. Your school has probably set up people as grief counselors for this very reason.
This stuff happens, and it is very sad, but focus on celebrating the girl's life and rallying around her family and friends for support. They need it, just like you do.
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