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my boyfriend might be using me?
I have posted on here before about my boyfriend.
I love him quite a lot and I believe he loves me too. We have been together for a year and things have gone well. However, I feel I am not taken seriously and that I am sometimes taken advantage of. He currently lives with his friend and I stay over a lot. His lease is up soon and he wants to get a house with his friend. He always says things using "we" but he is only talking about him and his friend. We have been together through a lot (he was homeless and his ex wouldn't let him see his daughter) we have spoken about how we really have been through things and I feel like at this point we should really talk about a future but all he wants is to live with his friend. I never get to see him and spend time with just him because his friend is always with us. I want to tell him I want us to live together and not his friend but I worry he will say no or think I am moving too fast. How could I bring it up in casual conversation? I am so sick of his friend being around 24/7
Another issue is he is always out running errands and has his daughter over 3 days a week. He often would ask if I could watch her for a minute while he ran out with his friend or something. I didn't mind this because I love her and like helping him. However it has slowly evolved into he just assumes I am going to watch her and doesn't ask. He also leaves her with me for over an hour sometimes. He knows it makes me angry and it really frustrates me because I feel used. She is his daughter and it isn't fair that I spend more time with her than she he does. How do I confront him on it?? I am in desperate need. I love him but these things need to change.
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It's good that you seem to already have an avenue of conversation with your boyfriend. Use that. Talk to him and make him understand that you feel pushed to the side and unwanted. If things don't get better, you're going to get more and more frustrated until things explode, honestly. If he doesn't listen to you, I don't think you should deliver any sort of ultimatums but if he doesn't understand what you want, just continue doing what is best for you and try to find other things to do without him. You'll be happier with yourself, and he might try to come along with you if you're doing fun things he isn't involved in.
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It doesn't sound as if he is using you, per say. Sure, he does need to be around her more often. That depends on the age, though. I am assuming she is a young daughter because you have to watch her. In that case, maybe you should try to do something with the three of you. Maybe involve his friend, if you find it comfortable. About getting him to live with you instead of his friend. You should take him out, maybe, and just come right out and say, "I was wondering if we could move in together?" Make sure it sounds like a question, so you're not sounding pushy. If he says no, don't get all ruffled up about it. Maybe he's worried that he might father another kid with you and he doesn't want to hurt her. I hope everything works out.
Xx
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you can sit down with him and say i need to talk to you in private and tell his friend to leave and dont let him think he can walk all over you went he cant and dont always babysit say no for a change
~Mariah Hoped that helped
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