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Domination: I want to be dominated, and I am thinking about a guy that is not the guy I am with...
19/f
For some reason, I LOVE being dominated in bed. I like handcuffs, being choked, whips you name it. But outside the bedroom i'm a completely different person. I'm normally on schedule with my daily routines, shower, study for school because I want to be a nurse. Sometimes when my boyfriend and I don't have sex I get really uneasy and tense as well. I don't know why i'm so horny all the time. If I don't orgasm I actually get sort of angry. It makes me think about having sex with this guy I never been with before and I envision him dominating me because I didn't orgasm. It's not that he's bad in bed I just don't cum as quickly as he does. I've been with my boyfriend and ONLY him for about 1 year and a half. What's the psychology behind me wanting to be dominated thing? If i'm thinking about other guys sexually, is it time that I take a break? So confused.
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I agree you are a normal 19YO girl. I suggest you make a list of all the normal, respectfull, clean and decent 35-40 yo guys you know. Pick ONE tell him about your issues and ask if he can help you out form time to time. In the long run you are much better of with a safety valve to let out your extra tension then arguing with you BF. 19YO boys can not meet all the needs of 19YO girls.
I will get howled down for this answere as it does not conform to social norms. Social norms end in tears, divorce and worse. Just listen to your body, be descrete and ask nicley.
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Relax your a normal 19 year old girl who most likely has a high libido especially when under stress. The stress in studying for your nursing degree is enough to heighten the anxiety which manifests in the need for sex.
This also accounts for your fetish for being Dominated in bed. Domination is a fairly normal fetish practiced in many different ways. I'm a little concerned with the chocking as that can accidentally go to far. But being handcuffed, whipped, spanked, tied up or any of the other more common domination fetishes allows the recipient to let themselves be totally free and allow the person, to allow their partner to take total control. It allows you as the recipient to actually relax and give off the stress your under.
Afterwards maybe some cuddle time and more gentle love making is in order. To put the world right for you so that you can get back to what you need to do stress free.
I'm a little confused about the guy you want to be dominated by. You say; " having sex with this guy I never been with before and I envision him dominating me because I didn't orgasm. It's not that he's bad in bed I just don't cum as quickly as he does." Maybe I'm just reading it wrong or in your haste it didn't come out as you meant it to.
In any case a talking to a guy about not satisfying you before he cums is a tricky subject. When it comes to this particular subject we males and I do not exclude myself in this, have very fragile egos. We all consider ourselves to be great lovers. If you were to approach this subject with him or any other male approach it from the stand point that you love his love making so much that you wish it would last longer. Would he consider using a desensitizing gel to prolong the love making, the intercourse for you to get the most enjoyment possible from your love making. In other words find a way to dance around the subject that he comes to soon.
IF you two are about the same age it is common for the male to cum quickly. As he gets older and more practiced with the same lover this will correct itself though repetition and getting to know your signals; if he is a sensitive lover. He should be wearing a condom which by itself should be sufficient to slow him down a bit. If its not then a delaying cream is in order. Just be sensitive to his ego when you bring the subject up.
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First, there is nothing wrong with your likes of being dominated. Everyone has different fetishes. Some like bondage, sadism, and or masochism. While others have what some consider very weird fetishes. It's completely natural. As for fantasizing about other males/females, it's completely natural as well. It doesn't mean that you have to take a break from your current lover, as sometimes it may be the only way to "get off". Anyway, as for this high urge for intercourse, depending if it's just during certain times, it could be due to ovulation. *even if you are on birth control, you still ovulate, the birth control just insures that the egg does not stick and get fertilized* If these urges are ALL the time, then chances are it's just that you have a high libido. Sometimes males don't have as high a libido as women. It's all really a 50/50. Yeah, they say men have higher libidos, but honestly, I believe it goes either way. Men can, as well as may not, and same with women.
As for your partner climaxing before you, have you discussed this with him? Perhaps try foreplay before going right into intercourse, also, there are gels and creams that can either help him last longer, or help you take less time. It's something to look into. Depending on where you live, you should be able to go into an adult store at age 19, if not, then check some things out online *which is usually more comfortable for people, more privacy, and most sites mail the packages under a different name, so instead of receiving a package under "Sex toy store blah blah" they tend to use a different name.* So perhaps consider getting yourself a toy to help you with your urges when your mate is unavailable, or at the time unwilling to "go at it". There are many sites online, with many different types of adult toys. I'd make some suggestions, but due to there being minors on this site, they are not sites I feel comfortable posting. But browse around, and get an idea of gels, creams, and possibly even toys that may suit your needs.
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