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how should a family prepare for a family members incarceration?
my wife will be going to prison for one year soon. My wife says not to give her any money but is that a good idea or will she need it for things there? Also, she says just send her books or something. So can you just send those things? There must be some long process involved. Also, what other things should a family do to prepare for family members incarceration? Is there anything they are supposed to bring with them? Also, should I allow our 14 year old daughter to visit her when she goes or is that a bad idea to bring here there? Also, if I take her to visit she might think "mom went to jail, she has no right to tell me what to do anymore" .Which would just be a stressful thing. I even heard her express a kind of joy at her mother being locked up and having to take orders from other people. My wife definitely did wrong but she shows no defense or excuse at what she did and she shows that she still cares for her family so I am willing to stick by her through this
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Prisons usually have their own sets of rules for things like that, and they can vary from prison to prison. Some might be okay with inmates receiving things like books, while others might not be. It's best to contact the prison and ask them what their rules are, and ask about any other tips they can give you to prepare, including what should be brought with them.
As far as money goes, most prisons have commissary, which is how inmates can buy various things like snacks, hygiene products, etc... It's usually not necessary to buy these things, but some may be useful. She may also need money for phone cards, depending on how the prison works. Again, that's something to verify with them through a phone call, if possible.
For your daughter, unfortunately I can see why you might be afraid of her being defiant about the situation, especially at her age, but it might be a good idea to let her visit, at least occasionally. I can't imagine it would be good to let her go a year without seeing her mother, then when she's released, expecting her to show respect for her or obey her. Try to let them keep in contact, at the very least through phone calls. I don't have children, so I can only help so much on this aspect, but you should try to find some way to show her that she still has to obey you and any other guardian figure that may be in her life while her mother is in jail. I'm not sure what form of punishments or repercussions she has now, whether it be grounding or losing privileges, but it may be best to keep those going, so she doesn't get too out of hand.
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