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How do I help the guy I'm talking to get over his past relationship?
I'm a 19 year old girl. I've been talking to this guy for almost a year now, but it didn't really start to become serious "talking" until about July. I really care a lot about him, and he cares a lot for me. The problem is, though, that he had a horrible girlfriend before we started talking. I don't know all the details of their relationship, but she treated him terribly. Unfortunately, her actions have made him feel inadequate. He feels that he's not good enough for me. I try to show him that he's more than good enough for me, but I don't want to push it too far and push him away. Lately, he's been opening up to me more, but he's still afraid to commit again because he's afraid he'll get hurt again. How can I show him how much he means to me without flat out telling him I love him and that I want to be with him. I would never hurt him. He knows that, but is still gun shy for lack of a better term.
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Show him you love him with your actions and the way you act like being there for him and listening to him talk about his problems and help him feel comfortble with you. Also be willing to to do anything to be there for him hope I helped wish you luck (:
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Been there, done that. I had a relationship like this before and once I grew up and grew some balls I learned from my past. Mine was probably worse than his and I bounced back. Try some abuse not only verbally but physically, a little cheating, and etc. Sorry to be so direct and forward about this, but seriously. If it only happened a short time ago, then it's obvious that it's still fresh and he needs time, but if it was a long time ago, this guy needs to stop being such a pushover. If it's fresh, don't become the rebound. Don't lower your self esteem too. You have to make yourself happy and if he continues to act like this, then he will lose more than just relationships. He needs to realize that bundling crap inside is only going to make matters worse. He is the only one that can fix himself. All I suggest is be there for him. Let him know he is worthy, but don't bend over backwards for him and lose your self dignity. Eventually you will get tired of his crap. This guy needs to find something that makes him feel like a man again. Dude needs to grow up and realize, that yeah it was a relationship and yeah bad things can happen, but there are plenty of other girls out there that are worthy of him. If he can't see that with you, then I would tell you to say good bye to him and you find someone worthy of you. He could also go get some counseling if that helps him.
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If this guy is telling you personal things then just continue to be a lending ear. He will let you know when he is ready to date again. If you do not want to push him away then maybe you could bring up the dating topic and tell him you are willing to take things slow. Sometimes when people get hurt, It takes a while to recuperate. This I'd something he will have to learn to over come on his own.
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