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Kissing: Instinct and Expectations.

Question Posted Wednesday January 2 2013, 5:59 pm

I have no problem giving advice to others who want to kiss a partner to do it spontaneously and totally believe that's what to do so I don't feel bad about asking about kissing as we can all learn and refine technique.

My situation is a little different. I'm not a teen anymore. As a kid and later a teen I had no experimentation or experience with kissing at all.

I was bullied all my life and spent the last ten years of my adult life dealing with a serious illness.

I'm now an adult and haven't ever kissed a woman be it a peck on the lips or an open-mouth kiss and have the opportunity of potentially doing so soon and am excited but TERRIFIED.

My partner knows of all this but what I want to know is if there are any set rules about the first time with a partner or at all. For example is it expected that the first time is a peck or can you do more than that?

What are sure fire tips to make this come off right rather than embarrassing or put her off for good? My gut instinct is to just go for it and let chips fall where they may. She told me a story once about people she knew that met that way so I think she wants that kind of moment with a guy. Any advice is extremely helpful.

[ Answer this question ]

Additional info, added Wednesday January 2 2013, 8:40 pm:
My plan initially was to start with a peck, gently lick lips and then stop and see what she wants to do if anything next. I don't want an awkward moment but she seems pretty relaxed on all this..

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Skylar73 answered Sunday January 6 2013, 2:39 pm:
I would have to agree that it is important to do whatever feels natural. Typically, when you kiss someone you can gauge from his or her reaction whether he or she is comfortable with just a peck or with a little bit of tongue, etc. In this case, since it will be a first kiss, I would say normally more than a peck is acceptable, but to either limit the tongue kissing or to possibly wait for next time. However, if she seems like she wants more, then I would go for it. It really all depends on the situation and the person; while this advice may sound like common sense, I think that when you are in the situation you will see what I mean about everything coming naturally : )

Hope this helps,


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ragingsquirrel answered Wednesday January 2 2013, 11:08 pm:
Ok, you seem pretty uptight about this, and i have a few things to say...
1) RELAX...i know your scared, but the more nervous you are, the potientialy worse kiss your gonna have with her. Plus, you might scare her too.

2) do whatever the hell feels natural. If you want to start with a quick peck, lean back, and see if she wants more. (personal opinion) i definatly wouldnt go for toung action the first time, but generally, more couples start with a quick peck. But seriously, start simple, and then if she is leaning in for more, then give her more!

3) you also have the option not to kiss, dont feel as if you have to, just tell her that your scared. Its ok. (i wouldnt expect you to do this one)

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