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I'm done.
Hello Advicinators. I am a 13 year old female living in the midwest region of the USA. I'm bullied quite frequently at school, and I want to stop going to tis school for that reason. I've never gone to another school but I feel that it may be better. When I was 11 I started cutting myself to deal with everything. My parents are recently divorced, my mom does drugs and so does my grandma, and my dad can be lazy so I always have to take care of my younger sister, who is 11.
I am very unhappy with my life. I feel ugly and fat, worthless, used, scarred, and that i do not deserve the very oxygen that I am breathing. I have tried some medications but they don't seem to work very well. In short, I'm done. I can't fix me. I've can't stop cutting. I've lost all hope. I think about suicide constantly. I tried twice before. The first time I cut was 1, the second I took sleeping pills slit my wrists in the bath. I am seeing a phycaiatrist. I hate her. I feel as if people only put up with me to get what they need. Help me know why I am like this. I want to stop tis but I don't have anyone to talk to. Don't just say Oh your beautiful and you shouldn't kill yourself <3. Sorry for the legnth
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Hi Honey, I'm glad you reached out. You are living in a very difficult situation, where even the people you should be looking to for advice and support are in fact, part of the problem.
Someone is trying to help you...or you wouldn't be seeing a psychiatrist. However, the single most important factor in receiving good help is the positive relationship between therapist and client. And if you don't have this, not much will be accomplished.
But you do need some really good help and family intervention, as well. I would like to see you get in touch with another therapist, one with whom you can really relate and receive loving support and wisdom.
How to accomplish this ! Tell your parents. Tell your therapist that it just isn't jiving for you, no explanation needed. Ask for what you want. Ask all the adults concerned to help you get a new therapist, and to let you decide which one will be your best choice of those offered.
They should be licensed and professional, of course. Do not let this go ! You are in serious need of help and deserve to receive it.
Let me also give you a contact resource: its the suicide prevention lifelife, at 1 800 273-8255, its free and available 24/7, for someone to talk to.
Good luck and good wishes ! ~Dr. Stephanie
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oh dear.. love, it seems like you're in a really rough place right now. the only one that can change things though, is you! no matter how many times other people may try and tell you otherwise, you are the one in the end who needs to tell yourself and believe that you are beautiful and that you can make it through this. be strong for yourself! become your own guardian angel.. be the hero of your story, that's what i did when i was in a very rough place just like yourself. you will make it through this, have you ever heard of the law of attraction or the movie "the secret"? it is all based on positive thinking! seems like you need a bit of that in your life cause you're going through some tough times!
love and light
amber
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your n6t in a gd place .if u hate your psych tell her she has your interests at heart your only 13 u dont deserve any of it.look after your sister stick with her cause shes probly feeling the same.
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The thing with the psychiatrist is that this person actually is your best-friend. You can't see it right now but they are your advocate and are only there to make you well.
You may dislike what she has to say (that's common) or think she's against you but she's not. She also can't tell you exactly what you want to hear either all the time or allow your illness to dictate the show.
I'm not judging you because I've been where you are right now with this. You aren't well and need her help more than you are aware or perhaps more than your parents can see.
Yes it's totally shitty that your mother and her mother are addicts and that dad's having a hard time raising a 13-year-old girl but he hasn't given up on you.
What you need to do is schedule an appointment with the psychiatrist and tell them you really need to talk openly with her but don't believe you are in crisis mode.
You can call anytime actually with a concern. When you see her tell her your self-esteem, body-image and self-worth are at ZERO and that you are always scared and feel as though you're sucking up too much oxygen and don't have a sense of direction.
Be honest as she can go right to work on these issues with you. But.. You have to be honest and work with her rather than against. If she asks you to work on something and do it follow through as you have to work together as right now you aren't and you're setback a lot. Talk about the cutting.
Then again, if you tried killing yourself previously and are only now hearing voices telling you to attempt again go directly to the hospital and have them summon her as you are in crisis and need hospitalized. You aren't well and as you may harm yourself need medical evaluation and treatment.
You shouldn't be afraid to tell the truth as it's your life in the balance. I know that once you come out from all this that you'll see that there's a lot of opportunity and living to do and that this is just one thing that once confronted will lie in the background. I think you know the responsible thing to do here.
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