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Do I Have a Screwed Up Way of Thinking About Myself and My Body?
I'm sorry if this is long or conceded. I used to have an awesome life. I was overweight from about 2000 to 2006. In late January 2006, during my senior year of high school, I had noticed that I had gained weight over Christmas, so I started counting calories and lost about 30-35 pounds or so by the time I started college. I loved my new body, had more confidence than ever, got hit on by guys more, got a lot of compliments, and all of my friends and family were proud of me, which was awesome. Long story short, I gained a little back in 2008 and quite a bit more in late 2009. I'm not here to make excuses for myself, but counting calories hasn't worked for me like it used to and nothing else has been effective. I try not to, but sometimes I really, really hate myself for reaching my high school weight again. I've already asked a relative to go on a diet with me after new years, but I don't think I can forgive myself for the past few years. Then, the other night at a grocery store, a guy oinked at me and even though I got mad at first, I got over it almost immediately by telling myself that I deserved it and when I think about jokes people made about me in high school, I don't get mad because I say I deserved that as well. I don't deserve any better because I had a good body and screwed it up. Is this normal?
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Well people do feel they deserve a lot of things that they don't. Women stay with men who abuse them because they somehow feel they deserve it. So what you are feeling isn't unusual.
What you have to get through your head is that people come in all different sizes. If you want to lose weight then you can try. The main thing is what weight do you feel comfortable at? Your main goal is just to feel good about yourself.
There are some rude people out there. I have heard them treat skinny girls just as rudely.
They are just mean people. You do not deserve to be treated that way at all. hard as it is ignore those types.
The best way to lose weight is just to try to eat healthy. Start walking more. My personal secret is stay away from anything that says "diet" on it. The aspartame in there will actually cause you to gain weight.Once you lose weight you will just become more active. That will help a lot too.
Best of luck to you.
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