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2 years and he leaves me without explaination? How do I cope?
Hi, 20/f and he is 19/m.
We were together for two years in November. Three months after he got with me, he left me for having mixed emotions for his previous ex. He came back after three days, because I think- when he called her, she told him she had a boyfriend, and thats why he came back. I didn't find any of that out until 5 months later. But I stayed with him. He seemed to really be over her, and had no intentions of wanting her back. So about 9 months ago, I texted him from my new cell number, acting like her, and he told her he didn't want her back, he was over her, and he cared for her, just not like that. He knew in his heart that they would not work out. I told him that was my number and it was me the whole time, and he started laughing- and he said 'I really thought that was her, I feel a lot better because I felt like I really told her what was on my mind"...But anyways..We have had some relationship problems with porn, and him being unhappy. I will admit before when he told me he was unhappy with me, I begged him to stay. I asked him why he believed he was unhappy, because if it was something we could fix, than our relationship was worth it. The first time, it was because he felt like he wasn't attracted to me as much anymore. I am a big girl, I'm not huge, but I am overweight- he said that my weight bothered him. My first thought, is-its been almost two years, why now? Why is it bothering you now?? Well about 2 months later, he told me he was unhappy with me again- he said it was because I was 'controlling'. Yes I admit, I have a controling side to myself- but mostly with his PS3. We compromised on an hour a day when I am home, and when I'm not home he can do whatever he wants. That seemed to be working fine. So I honestly, stopped being controlling. Two weeks later, he praised me for changing, and told me he's never been happier. Well a week after that, On MOnday, things we perfect. We were planning a vacation to Gatlinburg, making a budget, ect. He kissed me, and texted me when he got to work to let me know he made it okay, and than morning when he got home- he seemed fine. I went to work, came home to him saying he wasn't happy anymore, and he was leaving. He said on his last break at work, around 3:15am (third shift) he just got to thinking about how he is unhappy with me. I was shocked. I didn't know what happened. Well he said he was going to live with a dude from work, but couldn't move in until Saturday. Please note, he left me on Tuesday. If he was really this miserable being around me, why not leave and go to a hotel? Or move in sooner??
Well, he told me he was still highly in love with me, but he was only attracted to me a 4 on a scale of 1-10; he said no part of him wanted to be with me; and there was NO ONE else involved. He went to sleep while I was leaving for work, and I went through his phone because I felt like something more was going on than what he was telling me. Well he had been texting a girl from work, asking her to meet him after they got off- she claimed she left and could not meet him. I was upset. Why would he want to meet up with her?? Is there something going on?? Well, I simply asked him when I returned home, and he got made for invading his privacy- which I understand- I explained why I did it, and he swore to me she was just a good friend and he was meeting up with her to talk and maybe hang out. He said she has had a boyfriend of 7 years, blah blah blah. I believed him.
Than he ex sent me a message, and I asked her why did she leave him, and she said because he was lazy, on the game all the time, and because he wasn't growing up the way she did- she also told me he sent her a friend request yesterday and she accepted it. She told me she would let me know if he tried anything because she believed its not fair if he goes back and forth between us, IF that is the case.
Well, he finally packed his stuff yesterday and left. I work at a daycare, and I saw him drive by and he was staring. I was outside letting my kids play,and he was breakng his neck trying to look towards my work. Why? My dad said he seemed sad, not happy, but not miserable, kinda nervous? When I got home, I noticed the pictures of us on his dresser were laying face down. Why do you think that was?
Also, I did everything for him, he was lazy. Yes he went to work, but so did I. I cooked for him, cleaned for him, made his lunch every day, I did his laundry, laid out his clothes for him; I did it all!
Everyone who knows us- his friends/family- plus mine, think he will come back. They think he just wants time to himself and know what its like to be single--Some think it'll take him a month, some think he will be back before christmas.
(we already got each other stuff, and he told me to keep mine, but take his back?)
Anyone might have any idea whats going on?
I'm sorry its so long, but its hard to give you guys details, when there is so much- I want accurate advice and I know its hard doing that when you don't have the information you need.
My real questions are:
Why do you think he left?
Why were the pictures faced down?
Why did he try so hard to look when he drove past my work?
Why do you think he friend request his ex?
Do you believe he will be back?
What steps should I take in this process? I haven't ate since Tuesday- and it hurts so bad. We have been living together for almost 1 year and 8 months. It's weird. Should I ever contact him? He left some stuff here that he forgot to take with him- what should I do with it?
Please help me! Thank you for your time!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
So i realize this is an old question from 2012 and no longer relevant. Just out of curiosity what happened? Did he come back?
Also you said that at the time he was 19 and you were 20 and you two had been living together for a year and a half? So you started living together when he was 17? Wow that is young!
Sorry I know this is not advice i'm actually just curious about your story?
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