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I need reassurance
I am a female and am 22 and have never had a boyfriend. This seems to bother my family more than it bothers me.
My mom, grandma, and aunts will make comments about it. I can't relate to my sisters and cousin who are completely different from me, and have dated since they were 14. Recently someone I don't know asked my mom about me, a guy, and said he eNter to meet me. I am not interested right now in dating, I like guys and eventually want a boyfriend but not now. I am under slot of stress right now, I have slot of anxiety, depression, my home life is not normal, not is my parents relationship, and my family is very judgmental. My mom wants me to,meet this guy and I don't. Now everyone thinks im weird. What do I do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Wow, you never had a boyfriend. I hope you're atleast dating. Here the problem. If you ask on an internet forum, girls will always be supportive in their own girlish way and tell you to take your time. After all everybody deserves a 'me' time. The problem here is no girl is talking about the consequences to you. Why should they? They dont have to face them. But you do. I'm a guy and I'm not saying that you need to have a boyfriend. But do date. I'll explain why too. I didnt date much till my early 20's. When I did get into relations, I ended up with all the wrong girls. You see, because of my inexperience I wasnt able to tell the difference between the right girl and girl appearing to be the right girl. The difference between love and fun. After a lot of heartbreaks, I finally learnt how weed out the wrong girls. Assuming if you dont get some experience now and one fine day a guy sweep you off your feet and you get married. How would your know if he's mr. Right or Mr. appearing right? All I ask is to not leave things to chance. dont need to get a boyfriend right away but dont quit the game completely either.
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It is quite normal for mothers to meddle in their child's life, and this probably will never ever end, so get used to it kid. Seriously, this is just the tip of the iceberg that took out the Titanic. Just wait until you get married, assuming you will ever like anyone else, ever decide to date, and get married. Your husband will truly be in for a treat. As for your grandmother and aunts, well, apparently they need a hobby. Why don't you ask your grandmother to go make a quilt or something. You could even get her a cute little bumper sticker for her car that says "Id Rather Sewing". Then tell her to park her fat ass behind the sewing machine and get to work.
Now Im not quite sure why your aunts would care so much about "your" love life, but you could tell them that their choice in men has turned you off on the whole dating thing for a while, maybe for life, and thank them for ruining yours.
I do have good news. There is hope. You can fix your mother, grandmother, and aunts for good. Or at least you can have fun trying to do so. Head down to your nearest college and watch a womens softball practice for a scouting mission. No, you are not going to scout the best softball talent, but rather the best woman. I want you to find the biggest, burliest looking lady you can find; preferably one with a butch haircut, some tats, and one that rides a Harley. When you find the right slice of meat, invite her over to dinner at your house to meet your family. If you or your new friend is uncomfortable with this, you can offer to pay her to take you to dinner. Then hire someone to be waiting at your house to take pictures when you come roaring up the driveway on the back of a hog, because the reaction from your family will definitely be a Kodak moment worth saving. The best part is the fun doesnt stop there.
Introduce your new friend to your family and tell them you are moving in together. You dont have to come out (pun intended) and say anything about being girlfriends, they will deduce that quickly enough. After a scrumptious dinner, and some winks and games of footsy with your new friend, tell your friend to get down on all fours and crawl around the living room while you ride on her back spanking her and screaming "giddy up". You could then start making out in front of them, but that might be a little over the top; and I would hate for you to be charged with murder if your grandmother, aunts, or mother were to keel over. At this point I would normally invite you to send pictures of a make out scene, but in this case please dont, Dink doesnt want to see that. Not that I have anything against lesbian love, Im all for that.
Lesbian love is what this may be about. Your family probably thinks you like the ladies and not the guys. So indulge them a little bit, have some fun, and then tell them to BUTT OUT!
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I don't think it's weird for you to not want a relationship right now. Like you said, you have already got a lot going on, including stress and life problems. I can understand why you don't want a boyfriend, as it might add more stress to your life.
I can almost understand how you feel, because I don't want a relationship at the moment because I'm focusing on other things. However, my friends can't seem to understand this.
At the end of the day, I am happy with my decision, because I know having a boyfriend would be too much trouble for me right now. I think you just have to be more confident in your life decisions and in yourself. You're family can't understand what it's like to be you, and will find it hard to accept your choices. As long as your happy with you're decision, that's all that matters.
Don't let anyone pressure you into meeting a guy or getting a boyfriend. It's your life!
It's looks to me like you're more concerned with receiving acceptance from your family, rather then having a romantic relationship. So I have to say, don't get a boyfriend just to be accepted, because it will make you unhappy.
Good luck, hopefully your family can accept your decisions one day. Until then, learn to trust yourself and be more confident in your decisions. :)
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