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is my boyfriend using me ?
i've been dating my boyfriend for 4 months & hes 16, im 15.
we've gone out 2 other times one time 1 month into the relationship & we broke up but got back together the next day then 3 months into the relationship broke up & got back together 3 months later, since last year.. and now we're 4 months. hes not the best boyfriend he's made me cry A LOT. hes not the sweet type, only when he wants to be. we've had so many issues in our relationships but we've gone through every single thing and made us the strong couple we are today. hes perfect to me though, hes sweet, a jerk , respectful , caring , and uhm sexual ? yeah sexual .. i find all those characteristics perfect in a boyfriend but we're all diffrent with diffrent tastes in men right ? well hes always respected me & never done anything to me if i didnt want him to .. he always touches my boobs & sucks on them sometimes. i've also given him a hand job before. he started telling me he wanted to have sex. im a virgin & hes well experienced.. :/ as in hes not a virgin but he hasnt had sex with a lot of girls, erm i dont think ? i feel like he deserves this though but whenever he upsets me it makes me question if i should give myself up to him, what if i get pregnant ? what if he uses me ? what if i regret it ? plus i get so lazy to shave down there & im not sure if he minds that :o & some days i have oder like a fishy scent which makes me curios cause i cleanse myself very good down there i trim my hairs and shave when it gets too bushy, im not sure how to handle that & im not sure if i should have sex!
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
Guess what?
You've already answered your own question.
You don't even need to hestitate if you want to lose your viriginity to someone you love. It's clear to me that this something you aren't ready to do, or don't want to do.
I'm just going to say this..
He isn't right for you. Your relationship is not steady at all and he makes you cry. You deserve to feel special 24/7, you deserve to feel like a princess. But this my own opinion and you don't have to agree with it.
and as for your other questions
- pregnancy. Wear a condom to protect you from std's, and just go be an adult basically. Go to the doctors and get on the pill. Don't shy away, because I'm sure you'd rather take a pill than explain that your pregnant to your parents or him. But also here is something to think about. If you did get pregnant and decide to keep a baby - do you really think your boyfriend would stick around and commit to being a father?
- Shaving down there is up to you.
- If you feel conscious about smelling and it may be an issue, go get it checked out!
Please don't take my advice as something negative but as someone who gives a damn and wants to make sure you don't look back and regret something
Inbox me if you need me
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Firstly, don't ever have sex until you feel it's the right time. Men don't understand that our first time is a thing we will always revisit in our memories. Wait, and let it be perfect. Try to explain this to him, but don't be surprised if he rolls his eyes or otherwise dismisses your feelings on this issue. Men usually don't come to understand that women have different feelings and needs than them until their 30's (that's why in many cultures men weren't married till they were older).
Secondly, you're going to have to deal with his sexual frustration somehow. That's just a fact. And it's going to get worse as he get's older till around 22. Depending on how you feel about the nature of oral Vs. vaginal sex (in other words, if you feel that oral sex 'doesn't count', like most women do), I would suggest going down on him. Giving a frustrated male oral sex when you don't feel ready to have vaginal sex can really smooth things over. One of my best friends when I was your age kept her boyfriend satisfied that way till she finally got her perfect first time.
As for your vaginal hygiene, the best way to test that is to just Ask him what he likes best. If you're too embarrassed to do that, wait for a night when you're feeling into it and let him get to third base. Don't just ride the sensations though, pay attention to his reactions. As for the smell, if you're keeping clean it's nothing to worry about, we all have our own scent and we are often disgusted by our own scent while our lovers love the way we smell. If you're clean you should be fine, but let me give you some tips on that scent: Don't douche. Douching actually makes the smell worse as your vagina tries to flush all the foreign matter out (water, solution, whatever), always make sure you wipe front to back after going number 2 (this may seem obvious, but a shameful number of women don't realize that wiping back to front is unhealthy and contributes to foul odor, so it bears mentioning), and every once in a while, use a boric acid pill to flush your vagina out. I know that sounds VERY wierd but google "boric acid vaginal suppositories", you'll be amazed at what you find.
Yes there's a possibility he's using you. That's a risk you're going t have to decide for yourself if he's worth taking sweetie... That's a risk with every man you will ever meet, and sadly, there are only two ways of finding out if he is or not: Either have sex with him when you feel ready, or put him off till he gives up to see if he values you more than he wants sex (you shouldn't wait too long though, even Gandhi had his limits).
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