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I don't want to be a lesbian or bisexual.
I am a forty something female and still struggle. I was molested when I was a child by both sexes. I only realized the women molested me this year with a recent memory flash. However, I knew a few of lesbians sex positions when I was young, but did not understand how I knew this. Most of my childhood was a blank and have been coming back through flashes of memory. I had a boyfriend when I was much younger but men tend to be too aggressive. A few times in my life I've had thoughts about being with a woman, but have never been attracted to women. Recently I just cannot seem to shake these thoughts. I have always wanted to marry a man but these thoughts are taking over my mind. Plus my religion is against this.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Abusive Relationships?
Being molested as a child is a horrible, horrible thing to have gone through. To be frank while we can offer words of encouragement the only way I know how to deal with this is with professional help.
There is an organization called RAINN which stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They are far better qualified then any of us are to help you get the right type of help and support. They operate a 24/7 hotline staffed by professionally trained volunteers who can direct you to the proper professionals in your town who can help you. That number is 1-800-656-HOPE. I urge you to call them now. The memory flashes will continue and you will not be able to obtain the life you want without the proper help.
With the proper help you may be able to remember who your molesters were, if you do not already know. Most if not all states have no statued of limitations on child molestation. As seen by the recent Penn State revelations. Part of making things right may include getting closure. Closure may be punishing those that molested you. The proper way to do that is to inform the proper authorities and let them investigate. If they molested you they most likely molested others. Once an investigation has started others will come out and support your claims. This is where and how you get proper closure.
I'm sorry for all you have gone through. No child deserves to be abused let alone in this manner. I urge you to get professional help so that you can properly deal with this and hopefully put it behind you in such a manner that you can have a normal life from this day forward.
I and other on this site are always here to lend our support if you need us.
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You could be just curious. Since you have a history of abuse, I'd suggest speaking with a counselor. They can help you sort out your feelings. It could really help you find out what's going on with your emotions.
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