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Mother of my developing child wants an abortion but i dont.
I read one of the comments on a matter like this, Im also 21, the mother of the child is also 21, I did not mind her going ahead with an abortion, if it was 1 month back, but having a month were all she has been saying is that she is not sure, im growing attached to the little one, and i know being a parent will be a challenge, and i know it will change her body, and i know there are risks, but a father should have more rights, i hate the idea that she owns him/her, look my baby, my future is in her womb growing, and i really hate this arregant woman attitude, i understand if it was an abortion straight away i was happy with what she wanted to do, cause that would make her happy, i put my feelings aside, but now its gone past the point, now im thinking of the baby, and its safety, i know now this will destroy me, she should of done it sooner, she goes from saying she may have the baby, then not wanting to talk for a few weeks, we even spoke breifly about names, then she turned all 'i don't care about anything' attitude, im running about, doing everything, given that i did disapear for a couple of days, just to see some family, let my head balance out, and thats when i come back and she says shes going to the doctors tomorrow, and she doesnt want me with her, i said im going, i cant let her do this alone, if she does do it, obviously i will have to put up with it, i did once say i'll never bring a child into this selfish world, but now its going to be hard to let this one go. so the question how can i deal with this, give me a new outlook on life please, this is making me feel like a bullet in the brain is the best option. at this point it seems like murder.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Abortion?
The mother has the right to do with her body as she chooses. It's her health at risk during pregnancy. This is unfortunate for a father who wishes to be present in a child's life, but when you take away that right you endanger womens' most fundamental rights.
Keep in mind that this is a difficult decision for her to make too. She's not changing her mind to jerk you around, she's changing her mind because she's facing one of the biggest decisions she'll ever make. She's having every bit as much trouble with the situation as you are, if not more.
You can't force her to let you come with her. That might be what's best for you, but she's looking out for herself right now. Everyone deals with grief differently, and she might want to be alone during this time.
There's no magical way to stop this from hurting you. You might always feel pain when looking back on this. You'll have to learn how to deal with your own grief. A counselor may be valuable in this undertaking. This is an unfortunate situation where the most you can do is to learn for the future.
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It can be devastating for the guy in such situations, but it's certainly not unreasonable that a woman have such rights to her own body.
Going to a lawyer would be a mistake, I think. It would drag out a process that's painful for you. Only putting such a situation behind you will help you at all.
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Unfortunately you have few if any rights to your unborn child. In most states she can have an abortion up to 27 weeks of gestation. In some states late term abortions are also available.
There are cases on file where the father or grandparent has gone to court to force the mother to have the paper and to allow the father or grandparent to have custody upon the birth of the child.
You could speak to a lawyer about this. Your chances of success are minimal at best. A lawyer will best be able to tell you what your chances are. There have been cases where the mother has been ordered by the court to continue the pregnancy to birth of the child. Those cases are rare and I believe depends on the judge and where you live.
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It is sad that men don't have much of a say in these things. Perhaps speak with her, tell her if she doesn't wish to care for the child, you will happily do so yourself. She is able to sign off her parental rights, meaning she will not have any say in the child's upbringing, and that she will be able to go on with her life. But she will also have to realize that with an abortion, it can be an intrusive feeling. Not to mention, chances are she may in the end regret it. Of course, if she does do it, the sad thing is you don't get a say in it. But try speaking with her, and let her know that you are ready for this, for the responsibilities of this child. And like I said earlier, she can give up her parental rights if she would prefer to do something else with her life. It may be difficult to speak with her, especially since her hormones are all over the place right now, but try your best. I believe you should have more of a say in this than she is giving you. Be strong and speak out. Abortions are not cheap, and can come with even more risks than giving birth. If it's improperly done, she could end up "bleeding out" and not surviving. There is even a possibility that it may damage her reproductive abilities, making it more difficult to conceive, should she want a child or children in the future.
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