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Depression / Anxiety... help!
15/f and i ended an emtionally abusive relationship with my dad, a narc of three years about a month ago. and i didnt even know that it actually was an abusive, mentally, verably, and emotionally relationship until it ended and i looked it up online. i used to be so popular, confident, sometimes overly confident, silly, hilarious, spontaneous, and unfiltered. now its really hard for me say what i think when i want, becasue i used to do that but now i feel like i have to watch what i say all the time. its all because my dad. this is just one example he would say things in front of me, bashing my mom always bad motuhing her, then he would say make sure you dont say that to your mom. and my dad would not email, text, call nothing to my mom make plans with me so i was always in the middle and it was so bad i would have panic attacks due to stress.because my dad is crazy and fucked up and all he wanted to do was create drama he was so needy that my life became about him and i lost so many friends, my grades went down alot, i got benched at the sport i love and now im still struggling. i feel insecure and out of place. i was condidering going on anxiety or depression medication but im not sure. i heard celexa is really good for majority of people like adults or teens. but if i go on it i dont want to have to depend on it and never come off it. i just want to be me so bad and its so hard and feel like it will never end. this tired, gloomy, depressive, insecure, unfolding feeling will never go away. i got the worst out of my life so and i feel so much releived about it and i actually told him how i felt and the truth so why am i still depressed? i just want my normal life back? i know you can say go excerise go do this and that, and i do i want to do all of that but i just give up becasue you know your still going to be depressed. what can i do? ps i go see a therapist every 2 weeks since about 2.5 years ago
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hey, that's so great that you finally got your dad out of your life, I think when more time passes you will become just a little bit happier just because of that! I think your therapy should help too, if your completely honest. And I agree with you, I think you should try some anti-deppressive medication. I know you don't want to get hooked but if you are seeing a therapist they will be watching you and making sure that does not happen so you don't need to worry about that! I really think that it would help.
I hope everything works out.
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Before I start my answer to you let me just say I know about depression and how it hurts having suffered from it myself.
To be in therapy for as long as you have and to still be feeling as you do tells me you may need medication to help you climb out of your depression. Depression has several different descriptions or diagnoses and types. The most common type is clinical depression which I am guessing you suffer from.
One of the major factors in clinical depression is stress and the lack of or the inability of the body to create enough of the two hormones that control mood swings. Not being a doctor I cannot say with any real certainty about this. In your case though generally speaking people put on antidepressants only need them for a year to eighteen months or so.
What I am going to suggest is you seek out a Board Certified Psychiatrist to be evaluated on just what type of depression you suffer from as well as to find out if an antidepressant will be helpful in your recovery.
Seeking a Board Certified Psychiatrist is important as in many states any MD who did a residency in psychiatry during their residency program may practice psychiatry. Where as a Board Certified Psychiatrist has completed a Fellowship program and other programs to pass certain criteria to be accredited and accepted into the College of Certified Psychiatrists. This is the doctor you want treating you.
Why a psychiatrist over your family doctor? Simple it is not that your crazy. It is that the hormones I spoke of earlier are secreted into the brain making the psychiatrist the better trained doctor to prescribe and treat this condition.
Since stress is a major factor in depression. Finding the triggers for your depression and ways of avoiding or at least limiting them is important. I went through three different therapist before I found one I was comfortable with; who I could talk openly with; confident that what I said staid between us. Comfort with your therapist and trust in your therapist is important.
Once you have been seen by a psychiatrist you may also want to seek out a new therapist. For being in therapy as long as you have with no marked improvement in how you feel means to me something between you isn't working.
I know how horrible it is to suffer from depression. Please trust me when I say there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you will get better and feel better about yourself and the world with the right type of help.
Ask mom to make arrangements for you to see a psychiatrist to be evaluated for proper medication as well as a recommendation for a new therapist. Someone you are comfortable with.
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