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My ENTIRE family cancels plans EVERY time we make them...
My Dad, sister and Mother get along very well. They have family dinners that my mother lies and tells me were impromptu but I know better cause my sister usually drops the ball and tells me they planned ahead. I invite them for dinner, drinks, coffee, movies, I've tried everything. They cancel last minute when I've already been cooking all day or they keep telling me they will get back to me and never do. Last week I called my mom a week in advance to try and get them to come over for dinner and she said she would have to get back to me, I called everyday leading up to the dinner and she kept saying she would get back to me. On the day of the dinner I didn't call and neither did she. The next day my Dad calls for a favor and adds in Mom's sorry for flaking. My sister did the same thing this week except I called on the day and she told me she was feeling too LAZY. WTF? It's especially embarrassing because when I tell my spouse they are coming for dinner he laughs and tells me I'm deluded. I can't figure it out, Ive talked to the extended family and as far as they know my family has no problem with me, I know they Love my guy... I know I should probably take this as a hint (as its been about 7 years of chasing) but we were always such a close family, before I became an adult, and I miss that. What can I do to get them to want to be around me?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
There is nothing you can do after 7 years to change things. The problem is all theirs. If the problem came about when you married then you need, if you want to, reflect on what changed between you and them.
You use the word spouse rather than the more descriptive word, wife or husband. You did not say if you are male of female leaving us to assume you are either female or you could be gay.
If I were to assume you are gay living a gay life style then that could be the problem. I'm sure your parents would still love you as would your sister. What the family may not want to do is be that accepting of your lifestyle. The fact that your happy is all that matters to your parents. To your sister if she is married with children. She may not want to expose her children to a gay life style. Like I said this is a guess on my part since you did not mention your sex and using the work "spouse" was non-descriptive to give any insight to your sex.
If I have guessed wrong then you will have to dig deeper to see what else may have gone wrong between you and your family. Still it is my belief the problem is theirs since they have not had the common decency to address whatever may be wrong between you and them.
You can if you wish to take the bull by the horns and ask just WTF is going on. Why has the family ostracized you in this manner. I would suggest you ask dad this question as dads have a special place for their daughters in their hearts. He is the one who will most likely tell you if their is something you are doing or have done something they don't agree with. Once again the problem to my mind is all theirs until they are willing to come clean and tell you why.
I hope I have helped.
PS. I have a cousin who I love dearly. He married a women that eventually both sides of his family came to actually hate myself included. Why this happened was that his now ex wife worked diligently to totally ostracized him from his family. No one in the family ever approached him with our concerns. He was clueless until his separation and would have remained clueless if he had not fund out his Uncle passed away, his mothers brother. His father was my Uncle.
When he found out his wife was called and she never told him he started to question things and when he did he found out why during his marriage his family seemed to become distant.
I'm not saying this is what is happening to you. I'm using my cousin as an example of things that can happen. Don't be like him and let your family slip away, that has to be your decision. Find out the why of their being distant.
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