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what exactly do u do in sex?
Hi in female and I'm 16
Me and my bf are gunna make love at the weekend x
But I really don't know what happens in sex or how you know when to bj a boy or when he wants to finger u xx
Cos like you read stuff in books but it doesn't really tell you
So any advice welcumed xx
Thnku x
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I found the website, shown at the end, while answering a very similar question for other young ladies. I believe you should review this website before making any decision about having sex, starting with “Am I ready?”
On the subject of are you ready: all I will say is sexual intercourse is a beautiful thing between two loving responsible adults. Sex for you as a woman is different than for the boy. You are more emotionally mature than a partner would at your same age by about 2 years. Sex for a woman most always have a loving relationship, meaning women usually do not hop in and out of bed. Where for a boy of the same age sex is more of a conquest, away to satisfy raging hormones. You need love, security and comfort to enjoy sex. A boy needs none of this just a willing partner.
The odds are against you marring the boy you give your virginity to, so be selective as to who you chose to be your first. Make sure you find someplace you can have your first sexual experience that is safe, relaxing and that you will be undisturbed. You should be on birth control for at least 30 days and always have him use a condom.
When you are of age 14 or older, by law, you have medical confidentiality. This law called HIPPA, a federal law, provides you the right and the protection to see any doctor in private. Meaning mom or dad cannot be in the exam room with you during the examination or treatment. The doctor cannot tell your parents what you are being treated for without a written release from you signed in front of his nurse or someone in his employ. This is to insure you are not forced in to supplying this release. This law specifically covers a women’s reproductive system. Under this law you can ask your doctor for birth control medication. He can only refuse you on medical grounds.
As someone who is old enough to be your grandparent I should be telling you to wait. I am sure your parents have already given you that advice and it is good advice. It is also hypocritical of most of us, as most all of us my age and younger engaged in sex long before we were married. What I will say is there are ways of satisfying the sexual urges without having intercourse. There is masturbation, mutual masturbation, which is generally apart of foreplay, BJ’s and HJ’s. At your present ages you can have all the intimacy of sex using these alternatives without running the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. Remember no birth control is 100% effective. End of lecture.
My advice is to wait a few more years, let you and your body matures a bit more so that you can fully enjoy a sexual relationship. Don’t let pear pressure force you to do something you may not be fully ready for.
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Christ, you could fill a book answering this. You mean this weekend? I'll have a go. As far as fingering, well make sure he spends a nice long time feeling you up before you have sex. You want to be nice and wet and ready. He'll probably want to start pretty quick, but don't let him rush you. Get some condoms, soon as poss. Forget anything you might have heard about 'not needing one first time'. You DO! Make sure he uses it, and that he puts the bloody thing on properly as well. If he refuses to use one REFUSE TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM. FULL STOP. No 'starting off bareback' crap boys talk either! I'd suggest you lie on your back, lift knees a little and let him kneel over you and come gently as he can inside you. I suggest you look up some other questions & answers about losing your virginity. You'll probably ignore the 'wait till you're 21 and married' answers! But have a look. It could well be fairly painful and you could well bleed a little first time. Relax. You're not abusing or damaging your body in any way I can assure you. You're just losing your cherry like all sexually active women do. OK, he's inside you. He'll likely be VERY excited and start pumping away quite energetically right from the off. I'd be surprised if he isn't on the short-strokes and coming in a couple of minutes. Don't get stressed. He should get better at controlling himself and giving you longer to enjoy it each time. (If he doesn't, get rid of him!). You'll know when he's come, definitely. Make sure he holds that condom at the base as he 'pulls out'. You can guess what might happen if he doesn't, eh? Don't expect a super-slick performance first time. That'll come with practice, and the practising's FUN. Oh, yeah. Give your guy a bj as a special treat when he's took you shopping & paid the bill himself or taken you out to dinner or something! Have fun!
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