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how do i befriend my girlfriend's brother who hates me??
Okay so the girl I'm dating has an older brother who hates me for some reason,, he has a grudge against me for something I didn't do... He doesn't know that we're dating and if he finds out then he'll do anything to keep us apart... I'm trying to show him that I'm not the person who he thinks I am but I don't know how I'm gonna do this... Please help me!!!
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If you've done nothing wrong, then it may just be him being over-protective of his sister.
May I suggest you get the sister to speak to him? I think if you tried it, it may be messy. If your girlfriend does it, he is more likely to listen. Don't make her speak on your behalf, just get her to explain that if he really respects his sister then she must be able to date who she wants and that he has to accept that, if he wants her to be happy.
I went through a similar thing, but it was the girls younger brother. I think he was just jealous, maybe thinking I was almost "taking" his big sister away from him. He was a real ass though: he even wrote "flare is a d*ck" on a lamp-post not too far from his own house. Obviously it didn't say "flare" - it said my real name. Luckily, he spelt it wrong.
One way to break the ice is maybe to find something in common between you two, and then casually bring it up? That way, you can almost become at least civil with each other as you will have something to discuss.
Good luck!
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The truth is if someone is holding a grudge against you for something you did not do, Then whether you try and get on his good side or not I would be questioning whether he is the type of person who believes everything he hears. Meaning, If you do something he disapproves of or yet he hears another piece of bullshit elsewhere will he be holding a grudge again?
Anyway I apologize for my rambling...
You do not need anyone's approval to date your girlfriend. You stated he would "try and do anything to keep you apart" he does NOT control his sister or make choices for her. I'm not sure what the relationship is between your sister and him but either or she is the one that needs to tell him to back off if he decides to come between the relationship. If he really cares about her then he should respect her wishes and let her date who she wants. However like I said you do not need his approval but if you want to try and break the ice then maybe sit down with your sister and try talking to the guy.
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