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Boyfriends brother tried to rape me
K so im 16. My boyfriend is 17 and his brother is 16. My boyfriends brother wasn't really in his life until this year. Seth was so excited to have drew back in his life. Drew had been into some bad things but he was doing so good and moved into an apartment by where we live and getting a job. Seth, drew and I were always hanging out. So since me and drew were pretty good friends when seth went to new york with his step dad, I helped seth move things into his apartment. We were watching movies later and drinking beers and we both got drunk but he was really drunk. I was really feeling good so I suggested we take a walk on the beach. When we were walking, he started saying things like thanks for giving me a chane and being my friend and noones every been so nice to me, I feel so alive when I'm with you. Then he was like, we have connection and he grabbed my waist and was like, seth doesn't have to know. And I said no drew stop . But he kept trying to grab me and then fell on top off me. He kept kissing my neck and lips and rubbing my waist while holding me down. I was yelling asking him to please stop. Then I punched him in the back of the head and almost got away but he pulled me back by my shirt and scraped my chest with his nails really bad. He was taking off my shirt when I kneed him in the balls and ran away. I know I should tell my boyfriend . But he has andger issues . He was really trusting drew to change . If he found out he'd get really mad at drew and I honestly think if they got into a fight he might kill him . And seth and drew weere becoming so close. Drew keeps calling me and apologizing, saying he's so sorry and didn't know what he was doing and I never had to worry about it again but I get really scared when anyone even seth surprises me and grabs my waist or something now. And I don't fell comfortable making out with seth or something sexual because all I can think about is drew on top of me and I push him off and feel like I wanna cry ! What do I do ?? Don't talk to me about pressing charges, id never do that and I genuinely don't think drew will do anything like that again . But what do I do about seth???
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Personally I would say you should have gone to the police with this because this was quite a little more serious than just a drunken mistake where he tried to grab you or kiss you - you told him no repeatedly and he ignored this and if you hadn't actually fought him off it probably would have ended far worse.
It will be your call on whether you tell your boyfriend or not but I think given the psychological damage that the event has caused you may need to tell your boyfriend about it and the sooner you tell him the better as it'll just get harder the longer you leave it. Yes he might get angry but in not telling him you are also risking your own relationship with your boyfriend. You said yourself it is already affecting your sexual relationship with your boyfriend and this will be something he will eventually start to notice and may even start jumping to conclusions about. In addition to telling him you also need to seek out some help because you went through a traumatic experience. The fact it has started to affect your relationship is a clear sign of this. See if you are able to seek out counselling, if you don't know who to talk to try speaking to your doctor about this and asking them if they can suggest a therapist you can see about it. I know it sounds quite scary to have to go to a therapist or seek counselling but it will help greatly with what you went through and will hopefully allow you to overcome these problems that are preventing you having a normal relationship with your boyfriend.
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You were sexually assaulted this is a crime punishable under the law.
What I believe you need to do is several things. First you were sexually assaulted. This by itself is traumatizing enough and you need professional help to put it behind you.
I would like you to call an organization that can help you. It is called RAINN which stands for: Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They operate a 24/7 hotline of professional volunteers who will talk with you and then help you find professionals in your own town to help you through this. The hot line number is 1-800-656-HOPE.
Next you really need to tell your parents what happened and let them tell the police. Sexual assault is a crime, a violent crime that even though you where not physically hurt has scared you in many ways. Part of putting this properly behind you and allowing yourself to be intimate again with a boy/man is having proper closure.
Proper closure in instances like this usually involves a punishment for the person who has hurt you. The proper punishment here is to allow the police to handle this. If he has texted you about this save those texts for the police.
As to what to tell Seth? At the moment tell him nothing. Wait until you have spoken with your parents and the police and see what action the police take. After the police take their action Seth should come to you . That would be the proper time to tell him what happened.
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