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How can I change my attitude to be more positive?
I decided to write down everything that I have been feeling lately so that I can better understand my emotions:
-I get stressed really easily.
-I have trouble adjusting to change.
-I’m hypersensitive to every little thing I do. It was brought to my attention that sometimes I say things that offend people, but I don’t mean it to or even notice it. Now, I constantly worry and fixate on instances where I think I may have made someone feel uncomfortable. It makes me feel like I shouldn’t see people because I am going to do something embarrassing or stupid.
-I envy other people.
-I try to overcompensate for my insecurities.
-I am afraid people are judging me.
-I feel lonely frequently.
-I have trouble taking control of my emotions.
-I feel like I’m always forgotten.
-I crave attention from others for validation.
-I feel like people take me for granted, and I question how much people actually care about me.
-My emotions are very up and down. I feel happy sometimes, but when I’m alone and have time to think, I just feel sad and negative inside.
-I tried to reach out to my boyfriend many times, but he just got frustrated and angry with me every time I wasn’t happy. I try to hide it or not talk about it when I’m with him because he either doesn’t listen to me or he gives me the impression that doesn’t really want to hear about what I have to say because he ignores me. I’m afraid that if I stay like this, he won’t want to be with me anymore. I told him that I was thinking about going to therapy, and he was all for the idea. I am too, but at the same time, deep down I feel like he just doesn't want to deal with me being this way and just wants to push it off to someone else.
All I want to know is... does anyone have tips for me to change my attitude towards life? I feel that if I change the way I react or perceive things, it would be the best way to end my sadness or at least allow me to feel more content with myself.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
This sounds just like me a year ago. I was exactly like that but didn't have a boyfriend or enough money for therapy :) Here's what I did;
1) Get away from people like your boyfriend. (sorry) He doesn't seem to care about you like a boyfriend should. He is causing you to have even more negative thoughts. Surround yourself with people that will encourage you to be the best you can be. For example, if you have a "friend" that tells you to suck it up or deal with it when you're sad, then don't associate yourself with that person anymore. Simply put.
2) Find a hobby or something like that to relax you when you are feeling especially angry, sad, or neglected/ignored. For me it's sports. I played tennis in winter at my last school. Guess when I moved away from dad (I'm a daddy's girl) with my mom and brother and my parents decided to divorce? Winter. You have no idea how angry and overlooked I felt when no one was listening to me. Tennis is my drug. I escape from my human body and go somewhere much more peaceful. Then, I just focus on the ball. I win every game when I play like that. You should find something that does the same thing to you.
3) Watch Joel Osteen on YouTube or on tv. He's a very inspirational priest. He has a few books that he wrote too. In fact right now, I'm reading "Your best life now" by him. I'm not kidding when I say it will change your life.
In a few months, tell me if it worked or not. I would really like to know. Email me at melanielovesdylanobrien@gmail.com
Good Luck!
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I can so relate this to my past. What I do to help myself is go for walks at any calm/happy environment. I also recommend you surround yourself with positive people. Everyone has insecurities and problems. Take a moment and embrace what you have. Some people will always judge, don't let that stop you from being happy. Although a little akward at first, talk to yourself before speaking. The PAST is past. Let things happen. If things go wrong/unplanned, oh well. Laugh about them instead of being sad. (: <3
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It would help if I knew how old you were. The reason I say this is that a lot of what you have written and are questioning would be normal for a young teenager. When you are say 12, to say 13 to 14, in the early stages of puberty a lot is happening both internally and externally.
Internally you have all these new hormones running around in you. They are wrecking havoc with your emotions and your feelings. Plus your body is changing creating additional new feelings to deal with.
Externally you are changing schools. With that a new social environment unfolds. You are now looked at as less of a child and more of a young adult. This cause more confusion that needs to be dealt with.
Theses feeling can be confusing and can cause what in the past was called a phase; something you would grow out of. Today doctors call it teenage depression. I see a few but not all of the markers that may point to teenage depression. The biggest marker is the swing in emotional high and low.
Now I am not a doctor so I cannot say whether teenage depression is the cause of your problem or not. What I can suggest though is you schedule an appointment with your doctor and ask to to be screened for this. It is painless and consists of a bunch of questions. Of course while you are with your doctor it would be a good time to get your preschool physical out of the way.
Treatment for teenage depression varies. Mostly though it is talk therapy with a psychologist. This is someone you can talk to about everything and anything confident in that everything that is said in therapy stays in therapy.
My advice is: Talk to your doctor and see what he or she feel. My feeling is you are a pretty normal teenager dealing with the problems of puberty and your doctor can help you with that.
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