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Me and my best friend want to have sex
Hi,
I'm 14/f i live in Australia and my best friend and I want to have sex, I have known him for what feels like forever and we have already done stuff but now that we both want to do it I'm worried about a lot of things like, can I just go and buy condoms at this age? What can I do if I do get pregnant?? how can I explain to my parents about me becoming sexually active at this age with out them freaking out? And how can I do all this with out my friends knowing? I have tryed talking to him bout all this n he supports me but doesn't give me an answer.
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Hi there,
Yes, you can probably go buy condoms, BUT... you need to understand that condoms break. It isn't terribly uncommon, so the obvious question is are you ready for a baby?
If you are going to do this, the the thing to do is talk to your parents before hand. You really need to care of the birth control issue before hand, and condoms alone are a really bad plan.
As for your parents freaking out... well, it is going to happen, more or less. The more honest you are about it, the less freaked out they are going to be. Let them be a little freaked out... that is their right. If you changed someone's diapers for YEARS and then they came to you and said they wanted to do the the very same thing that gave you those diapers to change in the first place, wouldn't you be a little concerned? Of course you would.
As for your friends knowing... well, it is going to happen. You will be a different person after you have had sex, and those that have had sex will know what changed. There is a certain innocence that is just gone forever once this happens. PLEASE think twice before doing this, as you will most likely miss the person you were 5 minutes before you made this decision.
I guess the other things you need to know are:
In as little as two years, you will look back in your 14 year old self and not even BELIEVE how stupid the now you looks to the 16 year old you. At 20, your 16 year old self will look like an idiot. Why? Because your brain doesn't fully form until you are in your 20s. You might say you are making what could turn out to be the biggest mistake of your life, with only half a brain. :-)
The next thing is: Condoms don't stop herpes or HPV(genital warts/cervical cancer, etc.) from spreading. Even if he has only done "some" things with another person, he could have either of these.
Also: If you wait until after you do something like this to talk to your parents, they will not EVER trust you again... like for the rest of your life.
Lastly: If he isn't mature enough to give you a straight answer to any of your questions, do you REALLY think he is mature enough to take a chance on making babies with?
I hope you make a smart decision, and I hope you make sure your parents are a part of it BEFORE you invite such large life changes on yourself.
P.S. The only people who are glad they lost their virginity at 14 are people who are lying to make themselves feel better about the mistake. Trust me, I was with someone who lost it at that age and spent the rest of her life, so far, feeling dirty and ashamed that she didn't wait. Don't be like her. No matter what you do, make sure you won't regret it... and don't make the decision alone. Your parents love you, and they are the ones who will have to pay for the raising of any babies you make by accident, so talk to them and make sure they have some say in if they want to be changing more diapers or not! LOL!
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