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I cheated 2 years ago. should i tell him? <<< Previous Question
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me talking about his ex would split us up, my boyfriend says?


Question Posted Thursday July 12 2012, 6:25 pm

hi, we have been dating for almost 3 years now and we live together. we love each other and we're saving up but he's a single father and his ex seems to be very manipulative because they have a kid together therefore he lives quite close to his kid. sometimes she asks for a money quite early before his actual pay day and we always have to take money out from our savings for his ex which i don't like coz it has happened couple of times. it's always something. i told him next time she has to wait until he gets paid, that's where he said if i keep talking like that about his ex then that would split us up, now guys, what does he actually mean? does he still loves his ex or what is it? does he still care about her? i'm a possessive person but i care about the kid as well. he says hates his ex. he's only staying this close coz of his kid. she's so unreliable as she persuaded him that he can't go or move anywhere far as he has a kid which i find very selfish of her just because they have a kid together. it's terribly hard. thanks u all.

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orphans answered Thursday July 12 2012, 8:52 pm:
I can really only think of one reason: He obviously cares about his child, and that's the reason he is so touchy about it. He isn't just giving money to his ex, he is giving her money to look after the child that he made. The child cannot wait for payday to eat: the child needs 3 meals a day and cannot wait.

So when you're criticizing him, you are not able to understand what he is doing, and why so. So you need to really understand that his number one priority is to look after his child: not you. If you cannot understand this, then there may be a problem.

If you feel really bad about this, you should speak to him, and explain that instead of threatening to end the relationship, he should speak to you rationally about it.

Good luck.

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Xui answered Thursday July 12 2012, 8:48 pm:
It sounds a bit like he is defensive when it comes to the mother of his child. However as a father his child is going to be a main priority in his life. That is the way it should be with every parent, His child is going to come before you. If you are in a relationship with him then you both need to work it out. You need to respect that he is a father. Also, Why is he giving his ex money from a savings account that is shared by the both of you? This is HIS child but yet if it is your savings account too then that would mean you are also paying for a child that is not yours? I would also probably not want to be with someone that threatens a relationship the way he did. On the other hand there is a bit lack of information for me to really give say on what exactly you should do.

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