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Should a mature 13 year old girl date a 15 year old guy?
So I've been talking to this guy for about a year off & on. I'm 13 & a female. Yes I'm young, but my maturity level is VERY HIGH. The guy I've been talking to is everything I look for in a guy, he isn't like the others. But he is 15. Now remember you donot know me, but anyone that does knows I'm very mature for my age. & this guy I like he isn't asking anything from me. He's not a virgin, but he's only had sex ONE time. With someone he was with for awhile. Anyways, what is your opinion opon such a an age difference?
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I don't think that is a huge age difference. You guys are only two years apart and I think that is okay. One of my best friends dated a 17 year old and she was 15. You are almost in high school and he probably is so I think you are okay. As long as he doesn't want to have sex with you I think you at okay. If you guys ever hang out and he tries to get you to, I would not and stop talking to him because then he is probably using you. Since he has been talking to you for a year I would go for it, if he was just using you he would of probably given up on you not to long after to move on to another girl. I think age does not matter as long as you are in love, or atleast clost to in love. :)
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Im 17 and I am a virgin. but, i think an age difference in your case is fine. 3 years or less is o.k. but over 3 is not safe. However, if you DO get this guy, dont act slutty, guys hormones will go crazy, and your gonna lose your sacred gift of virginity. take it slow.
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I can tell you really want to date this guy. But the thing is that you are very young and most of the time older guys try to take advantage of that. YOU NEED TO BE VERY CAREFUL. Don't let him tell you what to do or try to pressure you into anything. If he EVER says, "If you don't do this, I'm going to break up with you!", than you need to get out of the relationship IMMEDIATELY! I would tell you not to get involved with this guy at all, but it's not my decision and I'm sure that you would still go out with him regardless of what I say. Overall, just be careful and put your feelings and beliefs before your boyfriend. Don't let him affect you negatively and always decide for yourself, what is right and wrong and don't be willing to follow him anywhere. AND LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS! It sounds silly now, but you'll be thankful for their advice later on. Hopefully they know about your boyfriend.
Be careful and be safe.
~Andrew~
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From the way you worded your question, I can already tell you do not want advice. You are seeking approval. However, I'm going to simply give you my 2 cents
While you are likely entering the 7th grade, This kid is hitting high school. There is a very big difference there and the reason that it matters so much is because you both are living in two different worlds. The people we hang around have an influence on our maturity level. Also, This kid may not be pushing to do anything YET. I completely agree with Adviceman many young teenagers mix love with lust. They think about sex because they THINK they are in love or they just simply want a release. I think if you want a boyfriend so badly that maybe you should seek someone who is the same age as you. It wouldn't make much of a difference if you were 23-25 because then you both would be pretty much on the same maturity level and stage in your lives. Does 13 and 15 make a big difference? Yes. This kid is too old for you. One thing you should realize is that you are going to go on in Jr. high and meet people and so won't he. You may not want that too happen nor do you think it will but it's just a fact.
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Dating is like everything else, it is a learned experience. While you may be very mature for you age maturity is no substitute for experience. While age may be just a number, at this time that number represents a big difference in experience.
If I was your dad and you came to me I would say you could not date this boy. You could remain friends, see him in school, talk to him on the phone and such. Though to go out on a date just the two of you, no.
While I don't know you, I do know 13 year old boys and girls or young adults if you prefer. At this age you have not yet learned the social skills needed to date. You learn these skills by going out on what I call group dates. This is where a group of you and your friends, boys and girls, go to the mall, the movies, bowling or what have you and hang out together. This may not seem like much to you or may seem lame; just and every day event. Though this is were and how social skills are learned.
This 15 year old boy has gone though, lets call this the training wheel stage, and is ready to try his wings. You have not and are not prepared to test your wings. That is what I as a parent would be concerned about you dating someone 2 years older; even taking sex out of the equation. As the father of the girl I will tell you that taking sex out of dating for my daughter is never out of the equation and something that I will always worry about until she is married. So will and does your father.
You can bring him home and introduce him to your parents. He may be the nicest guy on earth, still your parents and I will most likely say no to dating him. If you were 15 and he 17 then that is a different story. Most likely I would reluctantly allow you to date him.
For now thow my answer will be no and I suspect dads is or will be no as well.
I believe this is the second time you've written this questions. You can write us a third time if you wish. I don't think you will get any different answers, even from different advisers.
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Age is really just a number. Despite whether you are mature or not though, you still do have a lot of growing to do. As for dating, it really wouldn't be up to anyone else to make that decision up for you, (unless it's your parents, whom may not want you to date just yet). Best advice, I would suggest speaking with your parents (assuming you are really as mature as you are insinuating) and tell them that you are interested in dating. As for whether this boy is or is not a virgin, whether he has had only one partner or more, it makes no difference. Especially with teenage boys, because a good majority of them, especially when they have and are going through puberty, are usually also interested in sex, it's the higher rise in the male hormone, testosterone. So, as extra advice, I would suggest, if he asks for you two to get intimate, you would wait until YOU are ready, and do not cave in to his wishes/demands. It wouldn't hurt to wait until you were a little older, but as I have stated before, if you really are as mature as you say you are, speak with your parents and also get their feelings in on this whole dating thing.
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