|
My ex hurt me repeatedly but I still want to be with him and only him.
My ex and I have been on and off for the past 5 years. He lives in a different lifestyle than me, his parents are insanely strict and he's always locked at home/have to abide to their rules. He didn't have a brain for himself so that's why I would get so frustrated...he would always do what people tell him to do and I feel like it's his parent's fault not giving him freedom.
Anyways, I miss him so bad. I used to have fears of being with one person but wanting to be with other guys...like I didn't wanna be tied down so early (I'm 18 btw). These past 2 years, I dated random guys and it all failed. Every guy was an idiot, pervert etc. All I wanted was my ex in the end.
What makes me angry is that...our timing is always off. I notice that every single summer, he disappears from my life on purpose. He's hanging out with friends etc , like having the life while I miss him. When school starts, he falls on his knees and begs for me back. it's happened since 10th grade to 12th. We are both going to the SAME college this fall and right now he's not talking to me. I can't stand it. I want to cry so bad cause he doesn't give a shit about me in the summer.
I think he truly loves me, and I feel like college will give him the freedom he needs to be a good boyfriend. He would always leave me when he got upseet, which I want to teach him that relationships have their ups and downs.
I know I'm young, but I want to be with him ...forever. He's just one of those guys that you know there is something real. WE jusst had a lot of issues with his parents, his strict life...What should I do to convince my ex to let's stop this fighting/awkward/painful ignoring stuff and be together? We went out freshman year for a year...single sophomore and junior year (though we still went on dates and kissed...) and senior year, we dated for half a year.
We broke up multiple times cause there were points he was suicidal and didn't give a shit about his life and especially me. That really crushed my self esteem............
My ex is a good guy, he just has his emotional flaws. I love him, and I want to be with him. What should I do?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
I pretty much agree with what Braiden has written. I also believe that this relationship is not going to workout no matter how much you want it to. That your past relationships with others failed because subconsciously you didn't want them too.
I believe that when school is in session, and this is all knee jerk psychology,your boyfriends parents are more strict then during the summer when you say he ignores you. The reason he ignores you during the summer is because of the added freedom he has.
I don't think anything will change by the fact you are both attending the same college next year. If you are both leaving home next year for college then the freedom of being out from under his parents strictness is most likely going to be more of the summer style where he ignores you. If you are living at home and attending a local college then yes he may beg you to come back to him. Why? I would say you are a girlfriend of convenience that his parents approve of and allow him certain amount of time to be with. Either way this is not a good relationship that has a chance at lasting.
The emotional flaws you speak of are not emotional flaws. They are signs of low self worth and depression, hence the suicide attempts. You have written that theses attempts have hurt you and depression does hurt those around the person that is depressed. If he is not receiving help for his depression he will continue to spiral down possibly to a manic stage. This could be more than emotionally harmful to you. Manically depressed people have been known to harm the people they love so I will say you could be in danger by taking him back if he asks. He needs the right kind of help. Unfortunately he needs to ask for it before any help will do any good.
As much as you don't want to hear this it is my belief that it is time for you to move on. TO give other relationships a chance. This may have been your first true love for which it is hard to walk away from. As my mother told me so many years ago; "There are many fish in the sea, so rebate your hook and go fishing." "There is a fish out their just waiting to be caught by you."
This is not the guy for you. Go fishing again and find a guy that will love and respect you.
]
Well, obviously he's your first love right? It seems like you guys have a lot of ups and downs which in a relationship there is going to be a lot of those. The question is, are you willing to fight for eachother? You say you two have been on and off because of his parents, summer, his 'emotions', ect. But it seems to me that if you two really wanted to be together you would make sure it happened no matter what even if there was a few bumps along the way. That's the whole point of a relationship right? Being with the person you love and doing anything to make eachother happy. But if you tow constantly make up and break up maybe it's just not ment to be. You said he always forgets about you during the summer and crawls back during the school year? Well, that's pretty obvious that he want to be able to do his thing with his guys with out being tied down to a girl over the summer. Which is very wrong. BUT he's going to do it anyways. I think you should tell him how you feel and if he makes up excuses or just keeps pushing about his 'issues' and what not you know where you stand with him and it's time to move on. If he feels the same way and wants to be with you to then you need to let him know that he cannot keep toying with your emotions, he's either with you or not. He can't keep coming in and out of your life as he pleases, he's either in or out. Some people are ment to fall in love but not ment to be together. But don't cry about it, smile because it happened.<3 I hope I this helped. Goodluck, sweetie.
]
Fact is, If it hasn't worked out in 2 years it just isn't going to keep working. As long as you have the mindset that you can't move on from him then you won't.
The reason that your relationships have failed is because you allow them too. You are not willing to open up and give yourself other opportunities. Some will tell you that as long as you are in some kind of contact with your ex then the process of moving on is going to be harder for you. Allow yourself to move on from him and just stop contacting him. As long as you don't, You will continue to dwell on "what could be". If you aren't ready to date other people right now then give yourself a break from dating for awhile. My best advice to you is to avoid contact with the ex for awhile until you move on which you will in time. I dated someone for a few years, It took me a few months to get over it but I eventually did. Stop torturing yourself, Of course he is going out and doing his thing, You both are no longer together.
Cutting contact is probably your best bet. Continuing to take him back is just making it harder on you, The relationship is a waste of time and you should see that by now.
]
More Questions: |