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My Boyfriend and I's Complications
My boyfriend for 5 years is absolutely fabulous, but we have our differences. His parents are rich and way more formal compared to my living standards and it causes a lot of problems between us. His parents constantly judge my family and I, and push him to break up with me all the time. It gets to the point where they make up exscuses for us to not hangout, therefore we hardly get to see eachother and we are 17. it has been five years and they still wont accept him dating me! He always bails and flakes out on plans we make and it stinks. I come close to just letting them win and breaking up with him because it's like a 6th grade relationship if we never get to hangout and just make phone calls and text all the time, I want that boyfriend who can be there for me all the time and is over constantly. I feel bad for wanting to end it because he truly is a wonderful guy, just his parents are ruining it for us.
what should I doo?? I love him but i dont know if it's worth all the trouble and getting canceled on 30 minutes before every date..
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Hi,
Imagine a gay couple and how a mother never accepts her daughter's girlfriend. Eventually the mother will either come around and accept her daughter's choice in love or she will remain forever cold and put pressure on her child to try to control what she can of the relationship. Many couples do breakup because of the parents and their way of making a relationship a hardship. Say you two break up and he dates worse girls, his parents will eventually end up favoring you. You should, if you haven't already, try to bond with his family. You must have some redeeming quality to have that guy hooked. Make a list of things that could win their favor. Try to seek a common ground. It's hard for me to give you my best advice on what you can do to get his parents approval by only knowing that they are rich, formal and judgmental. If they are people with integrity, make yourself a good example. If they are hard-working, pickup a house chore, like putting up dishes after dinner, to show that you like to work. If it's all about class, introduce them to the-closest-to-richest member of your family or even have a distant relative, whom is good at putting on an act, pretend to be rich and talk you up. If they are the type of people that thinks what matters is who you know, the only way to make yourself look better is by having a very good referral. You know his parents so you should have an idea of what you could try in hopes of changing their minds. You and him have made it five years. That's an achievement and proof that you can make it no matter who tries to intervene. You both are almost out of your parents' nests. His parents will not always be able to control him. When he's finally parent-free, his parent's bearings won't be as tough. Many couples have survived situations like this and you can, too. The guy seems worth it. One other thing, you should find out if your boyfriend isn't completely his parents' hand puppet. If he is, that could be a bigger problem. He should be able to stand up to them when necessary and he should try his best to change things.
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If you have been dating for 5 years and they have not excepted you, Then they likely never will.
It is unfortunate but sometimes certain people tend to judge a book by the cover. You ever heard that old saying "You marry one, You marry the whole family?" Yes, Indeed it is very true. Sometimes people try and make a relationship work but the truth is the family baggage of disapproval and gossip is only going to drag your relationship further and further down. The stress and pressure is going to drain the hell out of the both of you. I know you are both very young but imagine this...
If you ever did end marrying someone who's family disapproves of both you and your family. There would be no family gathering, Likely you will have a nice portion of yours of his family that isn't willing to participates in special occasions. This is one of the reasons my last relationship didn't work out the only difference between you and I is that religion got in the way. You stated at the very end that his parents are ruining it for the both of you. Sweetie, They are going to continue to do so until they finally get what they want. If they have been making life miserable for the both of you then they may continue as they've been doing so long.
Now there are 2 options; Your boyfriend can have a sit down with his family and explain that he cares for you a lot and that he feels they are ruining his happiness and see if they come around. Or B, You can just save yourself the hassle and stress and just move on.
Remember, If he does end up talking to his family this isn't just about YOU it's about excepting where you came from as well.
However, I will be blunt if this has been going on for five years. I'd personally be at the end of my wits and I'd probably just end it. If you do not have their approval in all this time you will never truly get their approval whether he talks to them or not.
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