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My boyfriend hints at having children
So, I'm going to be 20 in a few months,so I'm not a teenager (though I feel far too young to be a parent!) and my boyfriend who i have known for a year but we have gotten serious the past few months has been saying he wants children with me one day.
I'm at university at the moment, and I love children I'm studying to become a child psychologist in fact! so he said while I study, no children at all but still, 22 doesn't seem old enough to be raising a family!
I know it's all a big "what if" and "you may not be together" but I have a feeling we will still be with each other after my course is done.
He has one child which may or may not be his (I am very doubtful personally) and I know he is a good father to him... But still, the idea of having children terrifies me and sends chills down my spine, idk if I'd be a good mother and I am certain I don't want to go through all that pregnancy malarkey, is that a normal feeling? Do you agree that 22 isn't the right age to have children?
Also, when does it become a danger to have them, for all my fears I do WANT a family, I just don't want to wait until it will all go wrong! help please
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Wt children with no marrying that's insane let him marry you first .Then yeah your children where will live and u should care about them and your study finish your education first then think about that
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You are not ready to be a mother at this time.
This is not a matter of "What if" it's a matter of bringing a child into the world and knowing you cannot properly raise it at this time. If your boyfriend wants children then that's great but he should cool off on the talking of being parents. At least wait until you are financially stable and out of college.
Children aren't just a cute little thing, They are a lot of responsibility. They are expensive as hell and they are a 24.7 full time job. The real questions you should be asking yourself is if you live on your own, financially stable, Do you own a car?, Are you able to put food in your house? This isn't a lecture these are all things that you need to think about before even bringing a child into this world. You want a family but yet you have years to worry about that. Seriously, Do what's best for you and the child and wait until you have more stability in your life. Right now worry about college not kids
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You aren't ready. You know you likely wont be ready at 22.
I mean, that's really all there is to be said.
When the fears, uncertainty and lack of information/experience override the desire for something - that generally means you aren't ready for that something.
In a reasonable person those fears fade away and become manageable as you get more answers, more experience and information, and are generally more prepared for the thing you want to have.
So, normal. Totally normal. You know you aren't ready, so it's totally fine to also feel not ready.
So relax a bit, and if you want, tell your boyfriend to back off a bit. It's understandable that with one kid 'under his belt' so to speak, he has less concerns or thoughts about 'readiness'. Ready or not, he's there.
On the flip side, you obviously would rather take the choice to become a parent really seriously, and that's awesome! It might not work out. You might get a surprise, and like him, be forced to be take the plunge and do your best with it.
But you'd rather plan it, so good, go ahead and plan it.
And let him know that motherhood at 22 is probably not your plan - because you know it probably isn't.
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