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Am I too controlling?
hi i'm a 17 year old female, about to be 18 in july. my boyfriend is 18, turning 19. anyways, we've had quite the past where before he was really very bad to me, lying all the time talking to other girls. but now everything is better (that happened over a year ago). but i can't seem to get over the trust issue, i try really hard but i can't help it that little things make me upset and i easily get jealous. he's in the marines so i never get to see him, and i get a little worried when he goes out to the bars with his friends, and i worry his friends will talk him into going to the club since that's something they all like to do. i'm more worried about girls going after him, than him going after someone else, but still. okay, so i kind of like to know who he's friends with on facebook, and this is my problem currently...but he added a girl i didn't like so i asked him to delete her, so he did, there was no problem. but then she magically appeared on his friends again...so i got a little ticked off, cause obviously he approved this, and i asked if he could remove her again, so he did. but now he's hiding his friends from me.. is it because i'm too controlling? or is he hiding things from me? i don't care that he has girl friends, it just depends on the girl, like some random girl i wouldn't be okay with, or a slut that i know of, or a girl who has a history of trying to ruin our relationship (she happens to fall in the last two categories) i just don't want to push him away, but i'm curious as to why he did this? i want to ask him but i don't want him to get pissy. we're usually really open, and we've been together almost 2 years now. thank you for your help! sorry for the length haha
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I don't blame you for getting jealous and ticked off sometimes because he has a bad past. Anyway as you said you guys are very open with each other so maybe it's best if you be straight with him and tell him how you feel. if he gets pissy and all then let him know that your just worried that he'll be what he was before.
Also, you should just give a little trust whenever he goes out with his friends. if he really loves you i'm sure he won't do anything stupid to hurt you.
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I believe you should have a frank talk with him about your concerns. I would be mistrustful too if my boyfriend had cheated in the past, it's totally normal. If this girl freaks you out, let him know that, and he shouldn't be hanging out with her if it causes you so much pain. Good luck :)
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It makes sense that you still have trust issues. But trust is an important part of a relationship. If you can't trust him, then the relationship won't last or won't be a good one.
It's his fault you have trust problems but you forgave him.
If I was in your position, I'd be doing the same thing. Especially if he hid his friends from you.
I'd ask him about it. Just talk to him calmly, to yell or pick a fight. If he gets mad, its not your fault. He'd be overreacting.
Be brave, you deserve the truth and if you can't trust him, you guys shouldn't be together.
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I understand where you're coming from and why you're curious as to who why he's friends with those kind of girls on facebook. You don't trust him, and I honestly wouldn't either if he has a past of lying to you. This obviously isn't healthy in a relationship though, it should be based on trust and you shouldn't feel like the need to have to look through his friends and ask questions about his facebook. Obviously not saying he should be requesting slutty girls but clearly he doesn't really seem like he can be trusted. If he's happy with you he shouldn't feel the need to be friends with those types of girls.
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