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So what SHOULD I say?
I have been married to my wife for 7 years now. I recently caught her in an Emotional online affair. We have been going through months of counseling and have gotten over it. But, she has approached me to say she wants me to initiate sex with more compliments. However, she doesn't like the romance thing. She finds it disgusting. She does like compliments but she seems to want the dirty compliments. I am a usually preoccupied in the daily goings on rather than having sex on my mind. So when she puts me on the spot to say these things to get her aroused, I am clueless as to what to say. She doesn't like the mushy stuff.
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I don't think it is dirty compliments she actually wants as much as the dirty sex that accompanies them.
Here are are some ideas: Rent some porn movies and watch them together. Watch her reaction to the action and porn talk by the actors. When renting the movie ask the clerk for suggestions on titles that have the most trash talk or you could end up with some fetish movies that won't provide what your looking for.
Your wife probably wants to hear all the trash talk one hears on the street. This is on its own a fetish of sorts. Some people are into different fetishes just want the idea of the fetish. Others want to actually act the fetish out. This is something you will need to explore with her.
It is possible that after 7 years of marriage vanilla sex on the weekend is just not enough for her. She wants to spice things up in the bedroom. If need to mark on your calendar to call your wife at home or if she works at work, all the better. Tell her something like I will be home at 6 I want you naked, ass up on the bed and I am going to f*ck the living shit out of you. If you come home and find her waiting as requested you just may have hit upon the core of the problem.
Don't tell her in advance, just call her out of the blue. If it works do it again, break the routine you may have fallen into. If it means marking your calendar or Ipad/IPod or Blackberry to remind you then do so. If you love your wife and want to save your marriage this might work.
A routine or boring sex life has ruined many a marriage so try spicing things up and add back the spontaneity. Part of spontaneity is doing something when she least expects it. Like, if there are no children, or if they are parked with the grandparents for the weekend, take her on the kitchen or dining room table while she is preparing breakfast; even if you had sex the night before.
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Not to sound nasty but maybe you should ask what her what would she like you to say.. or you can just watch porn to get some ideas...
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I suppose a "I can't wait to pound your pussy" or a "I'm going to fuck you like the dirty whore you are" goes a long way in the realm of dirty talk.
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