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I think I might be a lesbian
I'm 16 and I've officially been out as bisexual for about a year. I've never had a relationship with a girl- only a guy- but I've been with a girl and I've liked just as many girls as I have guys, but now I'm starting to think I might be gay - at the moment I don't like any boys and even though I do get fluttery when i see a really fit lad I get more excited when I see a fit girl - and I've done sexual things with both men and women and I just simply hate penis'. I don't like the feel, touch, look, anything, whereas I love vaginas and think they're great. I dont want to label myself as anything until I'm completely sure but I don't know how to tell whether I am or not?! I'm really confused and really need help!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I've never liked labels for this very reason.
Would you introduce yourself by how tall you are, what genre of books you read or any other part of your self? Never. So why struggle to find a definition for your sexuality?
I get where you're coming from. I've been there. I've tried to figure out if I'm straight, gay, pansexual? What it all boiled down to for me is that I fall for people, not their parts. It might be different for you. In the meantime, why box yourself in with classifications? Date around. Find a person you like, and spend time with them.
For the record, I'm going to agree with you on the penis thing even though I'm married to a wonderful man. They're pretty weird looking. Definitely not aesthetically pleasing!
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You might never be completely sure.
I know. It's a bit horrifying, but it's the truth: Sexuality isn't always fixed. Like your opinions on politics or taste in food or music - it can shift and develop with age and experience.
We are encouraged to label ourselves - labels feel safe and help other people understand us - but the truth is labels aren't necessary inside your own mind.
Pay attention to what you feel and think of, but don't beat yourself up about it. Like who you like, and be honest with someone if you aren't feeling it. While you are trying to figure it out, try to see each person as an individual, rather than an example of a GIRL or a BOY. If you aren't feeling it, for any reason, stop. Don't force yourself.
Remember: Labels are there to help us communicate with each other, not to define the whole messy, complexity of human experience.
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