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Mental Awareness.
Hi,
This is a weird question.
I was thinking about my cognitive ability.
I didn't grow up in a learning-friendly home as a child.
I've never really tried in school and sometimes on tests that didn't count towards my grades, I would answer more carelessly or just bubble in the grid.
I've always been exceptional in mathematics and creativity. I read over my gifted program tests from elementary school and found from the first test(taken in 2nd grade), I had gotten a 99 on creativity but I failed the other areas. I had taken the test again in 4th grade and found I scored 97/100 and 92/100 on the cognitive and comprehension areas-required was 96/100 and 90/100. On the creativity portion, I scored like a fifty something. And, I've always failed motivation.
I had always taken honors classes and I've never tried to take an AP course. I've always gotten an A B average. Usually, I just tried to get by in my classes and I actually tried when I had grades to bring up.
I think growing up, I've always been mentally-absent or only partially there. I used to have major depression. I think I picked up daydreaming as a coping mechanism. I still struggle with living in a daydream and living in reality.
I can lay for hours on just daydreaming for entertainment.
I've always wanted to be a film writer and I have a couple ideas for my stories.
One idea I believe is my ultimate goal in life. I've started on the story but I haven't gotten far in my writing. I'm always looking for ideas when I go places and some I haven't written down yet.
It's been two years since I've been out of high school and I haven't done a lot in that time. I still have terrible motivation. The thing is, I don't believe in myself. I learned last night from a writer to always try. He said he failed hundreds of times but also said if he didn't fail, he wouldn't have success. I don't know.
I think I have amazing potential but maybe that's just in my head. I have in the past, many times wowed my class with my projects at school. I've been told by intelligent people who have read my writing, that I'm very intelligent. I think I have ways of thinking that others haven't came across and maybe that's just what I think.
I'm not sure I have what it takes to write this 'genius' idea of mine. I usually surprised myself whenever I finished a project but never could see the success before I started. I really don't know where to go from here with this goal I want to achieve.
The area I'm worried most about is character development, my lack of vocabulary, and my writing skills(haven't always had positive feedback on my writing scores in school-I don't think B-scored writing would make a good writer).
From a second opinion, do you think I have chance in making this film and having a success?
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I think you are over thinking this.
You don't sound like you have any cognitive issues. You have intellectual strengths and weakness, and that is perfectly normal.
Your coping mechanisms for dealing with depression - which were so vital when you were depressed - might have left you with some bad thought habits and work habits. But that's not a cognitive failure, that's really just a habit and habits are hard to break.
Do you have a chance of making a film and having a success?
Yes. But right now that chance is pretty damn small isn't it?
So - take some steps to increase your odds.
A few things that might help are things like:
Write a film that has nothing to do with your great epic idea. Write a film that is only ten minutes long. Give yourself a task, a deadline and achieve the goal.
Painting the Sistine Chapel was not the first thing Michelangelo did - and thank goodness it wasn't! Cause it would have sucked.
Take a screenwriting or film class where you can collaborate with others and work on some small projects to develop your skills. Maybe even just a film history class would help.
Give some other thoughts to steps on the path, rather than the day dream of the final goal. You got to love the work, not just the achievement, or you wont get there.
So start working.
Also, watch this. It'll help you feel better when you suck. Because when you start working, you will do work that sucks.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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Yes, but only if YOU believe in yourself. Things only become possible when you feel that they are. I think you should read a book about present moment awareness called "The Power of Now". Since reading it, I don't doubt my capabilities as much as before. I'm also more at peace with life in general. Look it up on Amazon. You can get a copy for really cheap.
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