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5 year olds behavior
My 5 year old son has AdHd, Seperation Anxiety and Aspergers. They think bipolar but it hasnt been diagnosed. He is in preschool he started medicine this year because he was having trouble in school. He is doing great but his anger is unbelievable. He is constantly yelling and screaming at my husband and I. He says you just want to kill me you hate me which we of course have never said to him. His step brother told him to kill him self that was the last time they were allowed to play in a room together. If he doesnt want to do something its NO and hell scream that at you over and over again or when you talking to someone he will interrupt and stand there repeating him self getting louder and louder. We have tried time out. grounding. I dont spank. I smack his had sometimes. I just do not know what to do with him I am becoming irritable towards him. ( No he isnt in any harm. I would never hurt my child just frustrated) Any suggestions?
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I don't believe in bipolar being a 'sickness' of any kind, first of all. If I was in your position I would spank him. It's not abuse just don't leave a bruse on him. It's wil SERIOUSLY HELP! It will show him not to do any more of that yelling because he needs to show you a great deal of respect.
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It sounds like you have been doing the best you can, with limited information. As a father of an autistic child, who just turned five and who doesn't take medication, I will share with you what's worked for my wife and I.
First I will start with the behavior. Believe it or not, time outs work, it all about consistency. I notice a lot of parents in your predicament have a tendency to get easily drawn to the crying, screaming and yelling. Children on the spectrum are very sensitive, and this is their way of expressing their feelings of frustration. If your son is screaming and yelling, let him. So long as he is not engaged in any detrimental behaviors. If you try to intervene, if he is not "doing" anything, then he will likely transition into doing something silly. Take note- "let him" doesn't mean you can't attempt to comfort him. It means you should scold him for crying or verbally complaining. Do comfort him if he lets you, but more importantly, respect his space.
Whether you are scolding, using timeouts, or taking away privileges, make sure you are being consistent. Again, consequences have to be in a direct and timely response to bad behaviors, not foul moods.
Have a strict timetable. Children on the spectrum resent transitions, and one thing that helps them cope with transitions is when they are on a strict and reoccurring schedule. Strict and reoccurring schedules are easy to predict, and allows the child to feel in control and look forward to certain transitions.
This being written, life is unpredictable. So in the event of unplanned events interrupting the child's schedule, give him plenty of warnings, and repeat the warnings as the time for the transition draws closer.
Consult a dietitian and a nutritionist, as a therapist I have come to learn that the mind tends to mimic the body's responses to the environment. Hence, a very sensitive mind resides inside a very sensitive body. In our son's case we placed him on a very strict gluten and casing free diet. The payoff has been tremendous, and I suspect a chief reason he does not need medication.
Our son was diagnosed when he was two, and with the behavioral modification strategies and the diet changes, it took us three months to notice significant changes and six months to recognize huge improvements in his attitudes.
Our son used to throw forty-five to sixty minutes of temper tantrums. When he screamed, it sounded like someone was killing him. Now, when he's cranky he might cry for about three to five minutes and he is a lot easier to redirect.
Good luck.
Ugo
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I also have Asperger's, and I know that no 2 people are exactly alike, but I believe that I might be able to help here.
When transitioning from one activity to another, give him a warning. Start 30 minutes out and say, "We will be doing X in 30 minutes" or "I need you to do X in 30 minutes" and then a reminder at 15 minutes, 10 minutes, and 5 minutes. That will allow him to transition over to the new activity much easier.
Following a strict schedule helps many people with Asperger's, as well. Not knowing what to expect can cause a lot of fear, and reactions much like the ones you describe. Allowing him to help establish the schedule as much as possible is also a good plan.
Talking things through and validating his feelings will help him to calm down and trust you. Ask a LOT of questions about how things make him feel, and what you can do to make it work out.
Good luck!
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DO NOT GIVE HIM MEDICINE. if you want to help him use NATURAL REMEDIES. DO NOT GIVE HIM ANY AND I REPEAT ANY SHOTS OR PILLS OR OTHER MEDICINAL DRUGS of ANY KIND. THERE ARE MORE THAN HALF A MILLION NATURAL REMEDIES THAT THE GOVERNMENT DOES NOT WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT. THERE ARE POISONS IN YOUR EVERYDAY FOOD. LOOK ON GOOGLE FOR "Kevin Trudeau" HE TALKS ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW. YOU HAVE TO START TAKING CLEANSES. SO DOES YOUR SON. IF ANYBODY YOU KNOW ABOUT AND CARE ABOUT EATS OR DRINKS OR HAS ANYTHING WITH "sodium laureth sulfate" IN IT THROW IT OUT IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TRY TO GET AS MUCH KEVIN TRUDEAU AS YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS ON and if you do EVERYTHING he tells you to do for yourself AND your son he WILL get better.
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