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Dazed and Confused
F/17
You seem way more informed on the whole dating scene, so I would really appreciate the advice if you have any.
I have this really close friend (Aaron), and we were joking around in math one day when this girl I know starts flirting with him a lot, and my good mood completely dissipated into this white hot rage. I'm not really the jealous type, especially not with people I like.
I hated feeling that way, but it made me realize how much I do like Aaron. I mean, I always thought he was attractive and I knew I liked him, but I always focused on the being friends part. I explained this to a friend and she told me to go for it because "Even when he's jokingly shoving Rule 34 pictures in your face, and you're on that verge of not knowing if you're laughing or crying, you two always seem happier around each other."
I'm afraid I might have friend-zoned myself in this situation, and even if I haven't I'm not entirely sure what to do. Aaron is completely off kilter, but he's absolutely brilliant. He deserves someone as equally brilliant. I know he should make the choice of who he wants, but I'm a little apprehensive about giving him the idea of 'us' because I'm honestly nothing special. While I would love to take that step towards dating, I don't know if I should.
So, I guess the real question is: Should I risk my awesome friendship with an attempt to date him, and if so, how exactly should I approach the subject with him?
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Well thank you but I'm not exactly good with "dating", to be honest I'm horrible when it comes to that, but i do know a few things about healthy relationships.
First things first, there is no such thing as the "friends zone". Yes you may not be able to date some anymore because you stayed friends with them for too long but that isn't a person worth dating. Because in the time that you were friends they got to know you better and consciously or subconsciously realized that your not their type, make sense? If not let me know because thats something people should understand.
Now problem number 2. If you want a good strong relationship with this guy I can tell you right now that it's never going to happen. The reason why is this "I'm honestly nothing special". Yes you are suppose to think highly of the person your in a relationship with but your not suppose to think that little of yourself. I'm not exactly sure how far that goes for you (if you think your just the average person but are worth getting in a relationship with or you don't love yourself). You need to believe that you are worth being his girlfriend; that you can make him happy. If you dont feel that then it will not work ( I learned that the hardest way possible)
If that is something you can't manage right now (which is alright) then the only steps you need to be taking are to fix that.
If that's not the case then of course you should try to turn your friendship into a relationship. It does depend on what kind of guy he is though; meaning if he's a little awkward with girls, hasn't been in many relationships then it's probably not the best thing to come out of nowhere and tell him you have feelings for him (you might confuse him). So I'd recommend taking it slower by showing you have that kind of interest in him, and do this in your own way. If your not the flirty type then ask him if he wants to maybe go see a movie over the weekend, hang out together and do something. Some guys are bad at this but I'm Gunna recommend it anyways; try and drop some hints along the way even if he doesn't pick up on them (one of the reasons I'm horrible at dating, never pick up on those things). When you feel your ready for it then tell him that you like him.
The best relationships start off as good friendships, Gl and let me know if you have any more questions
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