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Tutor trouble? My friend and I got into a fight with him?
Pardon my grammar if you find any. Sometimes it is hard to concentrate or think sraight when you’re angry. Just writing about it makes me angry.
Plus it's a long story, but this issue is kinda serious. Please bare with me. :/
Yesterday my friend and I got into a fight with a lab tutor, verbally. This incident took place inside the chemistry computer lab/ study room. So we were both working on our lab reports that needed to be turn in later that day.(About my lab partner, she’s extremely shy and quiet but she is very generous person. I used to be very shy like that too back in grade school, but now I’ve got over it since I begin to socialize more and grew more ambiverted like now. Anyways, back to the story.) We were both very busy with our papers and started talking to each other a lot. About an hour later, a professor was getting ready to lock the room up and then made everyone in the lab leave. We didn’t happen to hear him at first because we were both still talking. (In retrospect, that part was kinda our fault but it’s not like we meant to do it on purpose. The professor‘s voice was a little quiet at first and our talking kinda drained out the noise.) Then the professor finally caught our attention and informed us that he’d already made an announcement to leave. We both listen to him and told him “okay” and decided to save our process and take it somewhere else. Since then we didn’t really see the professor around anymore. My guess was that he was either waiting outside to lock the door or that he gave the keys to one of the tutors and left.
On my computer, I already had my school email account opened from earlier, so I’ve managed to save my stuff on time and cleared the rest of my things. I was just waiting for her to do the very same thing. Moments later, while I was waiting for my friend to start emailing herself, this one tutor came to check on us and said to my friend “you seriously cannot be emailing right now miss.” We both apologizing to him about that and told him that we were almost done. (I even tried to crack a little lighthearted joke with him that my friend’s slow and that she didn’t mean to cause this hold up.) He informed us that the professor needed to leave because he has a class to teach (That part we didn’t know.) Once again I apologized and told him that we’ll be leaving asap. I even nudged my friend to hurry up while this tutor was still standing on our necks. She was behaving a little irresponsive and I can sense her feeling a bit nervous at the moment to leave too while this tutor was standing on our neck. (I understand why he has to do that because he was waiting for me to leave). By the time she was finally done with the computer after a few seconds later, this tutor started flipping out about us while he was talking to someone else from far. He started to raise his voice about her (while jumping into all sorts of conclusions about us) and said “This f****** chick just ignores the professor and refuses to leave.” He just assumes that we purposely ignored the professor’s instructions which was never honestly the case in the first place.
At first I didn’t want to say anything, just kept quiet and I’m usually try to be polite with many faculties on campus, but the way he talked about my friend like that offends me and that’s where I started to defend her. I begin raising my voiced at him in response to his attitude starting with “Whoa, what is your problem? We said we’re gonna leave…etc” (I didn’t shout at him btw, I was just talking to him normally with a little raised voice.) My friend also joined in the heated argument briefly about his unnecessary remark and to reassure him that she is already done with the computer beforehand. She and I do really feel bad about causing a hold up, but at the moment, I really don’t appreciate the way he talked about her in such manner especially with her being quiet and somewhat defenseless. Then we had gotten a little back and forth argument which resulted to even more misunderstanding.
At the time I wish that I could’ve said more to him in response such as “Just because we caused a problem and accidentally made the professor late, you think it is okay to go ape*** on us and then referred to her as This F***** Chick? ” , but instead we just stormed the other way and said nothing. Beside, arguing with him more would’ve just made me angrier to the point where I could just kick his *** in a heartbeat and I‘m glad that I didn‘t resort to doing that for obvious reasons.
I need some advice please... was this bad on my part? Or did I do the right thing?
P.S. Since this incident happened, my friend was thinking of reporting it to the dean in charge of the department or go to the campus’s counselor about it. But she was kinda scared of the consenquences. We were also thinking of apologizing to that professor for making him late if we ever had the chance to see him, but not to the tutor.
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You should report it, because tutor shouldn't be swearing at you. He crossed a line if he swore.
However, when she kept on doing just one more thing cause you didn't happen to see anyone around to remind you to leave - that WAS ignoring what you'd been asked to do. It was rude and it abuses other people's time.
Tutors often get paid next to nothing, and are stuck taking abuse and wasting time with students who just wont listen. I can't tell you the number of students who think, because I'm not the professor, I should be holding their hands, giving them the answers and answering their midnight emails in minutes. Or the number of times I've been late because students think if I don't physically remind them at the 10 min, 5 min mark and 2 min mark, that the lab is closing - then they can just keep working - leaving me standing there over them while they clean up 10 mins after my bus left.
So yes, you should report him because he crossed the line when he swore at you, but you also need to have more respect for your tutor's time - not just professor's.
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