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Wife says she does not love me after 15 years and 5 children. I am stunned, and I don't know what to do.
After 15 years together my wife has told me she does not love me. We have 5 Children ages from 6 to 16. I was and still am totally stunned by this. As in every relationship we have had our ups and downs, but on the whole things have been good (or so it seemed.I worked hard to provide and give my family everything they wanted.I am not a drinker, gambler,drug taker, womaniser or abusive I do not even smoke! I really do not know what to do. She says she loves me and cares about me but is not in love with me any more. I have tried to explain that all relationships go through these phases, and that it will pass. We have a commitment to our children. To make it worse my wife has just been diagnosed with MS. I realise MS can be OK for some people and allow them to carry on as normal, but I
fear she will need help at some point. She has been unwell now for the past2 or 3 years, and I wonder if this is dragging her down. She will not admit to being depressed. My wife is 39 I am 46. Any help or suggestions very welcome. thank you.
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I'm not a doctor. My unprofessional opinion is that your wife is aware of the debilitating effects of this disease and the toll it will have on you and the children. I believe what she may be doing is in affect falling on her sword to save you and the children from being torn apart in having to care for her as the effects of her MS take its toll on her.
Your wife would not be the first MS suffer to think this way. My brother in-law is also an MS sufferer. He and my sister sat down when he was first diagnosed an came up with a plan they both were comfortable with for when the time came that he could no longer care for himself. I am not aware of just what that plan is. What I do know is that until that time they are living their lives together and they are happy and that is what counts.
After 15 years of marriage and 5 children with no other problems, I see no other reason for her sudden claim of not loving you. My advise is counseling for both of you. First to better understand this disease and to better understand the effects it will have on her and your family. How will it progress. To that end I also recommend you go to the National MS Society website to find out more about this illness. Their website will help you find a chapter in your area where you will find additional help in dealing with MS. The URL is: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
With the help of a qualified therapist knowledgeable in MS. You and you wife and later with your children can work on what is the best way to care for and help your wife through this illness. With today's advancements in treatments your wife can live a long an fruitful life. It would not be out of the realm of possibility, depending on the type of MS she has, that she could live to see all her children grandchildren.
In short, you first need to become more knowledgeable in her illness. Then you all need to learn the best way to help her and care for her.
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