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Distrust..and more distrust.
Okay, so to start off my boyfriend is very insecure. He's the kind of guy who thinks being friends with guys,is no good. Also if I'm smiling and talking to guys, he'll instantly expect that I'm going behind his back and doing something wrong. This lead me to believe something was not right with him and, what if something was going on behind mine?
Haha, and here's where things get great.
The other night I had the chance to casually look through some things on his laptop while he was out for about 10 minutes. I know this is wrong, but I have things that can back me up. He is constantly looking at my phone, facebook messages, and is basically an overall controlling in his actions. I accidentally left my computer over his house the other night, and know better to assume he didn't just "put it in it's case". Had he have trusted me, I would have respected his privacy as well.
What I found clearly surprised me, although, I expected it to happen.
What I found, under and untitled folder, was a ton of other folders. These folders had names of various ex's, and some other girls I knew. When I opened up the folders I saw naked pictures, photoshopped pictures of the girl on other pornstars' bodies and some possibly sent to him. There were about 6 folders, and I know pretty much all of the girls. Also, one was of me (and of a picture I hadn't known he'd taken of me). My hands are shaking just writing this. I wouldn't be so upset, if one folder wasn't so recent. It was of a girl he had just met at school,and I've even hung out with her. He'd took all of these girl's pictures off of facebook, while we were dating. I'm not sure if they were sent to him or not, but some, look clearly sent.
Now, now I just don't know what to do. I can't unsee what I've seen and feel that all he's been is a lie. We've been dating for about 2 years, and on the surface things are wonderful. We've told eachother how much we love one another , but I trust my instincts and intuition enough to try to comprehend that something,right now, is not right.
My question is what would YOU do? I need more perspectives.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Break up with him (and possibly, as long as you don't feel threatened by him, tell him why).
Look: What you did was wrong, and it really don't matter that what he was doing was 'more wrong first'. You can't move forward in your romantic life dating people who cyber spy on you, and you need to not to that to your partner either.
It doesn't matter if 'they started it'. If your partner starts that degree of disrespect, distrust and control, you dump them. Don't use it as an excuse to sink just as low yourself. Once you (or your partner) feel the need to go through someone's personal things, trust is already gone and the relationship is already over. You probably should have broken up with him, not gone through his stuff. You had more than enough evidence of this being a bad relationship before snooping on his computer.
As for the files, I have no problem with pornography, but photoshopping the photos of women you know, and taking photos of your girlfriend she doesn't know about, and soliciting photos from other women while in a relationship - that's not just porn, that's a serious, active invasion of privacy and cheating. That crosses from very serious boundaries, and in some places would be flat out illegal.
So break up with him and tell him it's because he's a controlling maniac and that this very, very creepy folder of images was the final straw and not an okay way to behave.
Don't take a wishy-washy 'break' from him. Break up with him. It's been over for a damn long time. Make your peace with it.
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Honestly. I would take a 'break' tell him you need some time to think about the relationship.
Tell him, you just need some time.
and think seriously. Don't talk to him. Don't text him. Give it at least a week to litterly think about you two.
What is a relationship with out trust. It is nothing. If you can't trust someone how can you trust them with your future.
Is it worth being withsomeone, and forgeting a lie or thinking everything is fine when it's not.
This guy obviously wants to have his cake and eat it too. I know you deserve better than some guy who takes naked pix of recent girls.
I know this is honest. But if those pictures are really recent. Then there is no saying, just what he is doing, or what he is capable of doing.
Sometimes, it's better to let go, then to be in a relationship lie. Ive been in one. And i'm much better today then i was then. I got out off his control. His power oer me.
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