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question asked on friday
Hey you answered some advice for me from friday and it helped me deal with some of the emotions. Well im having some more issues and was hoping you could help.
He called me friday night and instead of being pissed cause of our previous convo (him making sure i knew "just friends") i just acted normal and joked around and tried the wholw friends thing. And it worked...he said he loved me a couple times and it was kinda like normal. Except we didnt talk as long as normal and he was the one who said i gtg. At the end of the convo he was like "you can count on me".
Well now its monday night and its like during my days i sometimes have things happen and im like ohhh im gonna tell him about that when he calls tonight or tomorrow. But i havent heard from him since friday night. I know its only monday...but wouldnt he want to talk to me more? Like i know this is a difficult time for him but i feel stuck in the middle of not knowing if he meant he wanted to carry on a relationship after friends or if he just didnt want to hurt me. Like maybe when he says he loves me, he does. But hes not "in love" with me. Im just so scared of losing him but id rather have it happen fast then like him worrying abour hurting my feelings. Then again this could all be my low confidence. I just dont know how to be okay with this whole "just friends" thing
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Hi :) In my honest opinion: you're overthinking this. He has a lot on his plate right now - his focus is on getting better. He loves you, but he needs to put his feelings and healing first. So 3 days between a phone conversation to you might feel like a lifetime but to him it is not long at all because he's probably busy in counselling and other activities etc.
The thing is that you are torn emotionally between 2 places - firstly wanting to keep up the appearance that you are 'just friends' for his sake because that's what he asked for, and yet at the same time you want it to be so much more. He probably is as well - wanting to be more than friends but knowing he can't right now. Maybe he is thinking "well a *friend* wouldn't phone this often, so maybe I shouldn't either".
It's a complicated situation as you said, but from what you have been saying, I think you guys are going to be fine. Try not to stress out about it, and don't pressure him into committing one way or the other. Make sure that when he DOES phone, it's a really good conversation that you have, so that he remembers how much he likes you and enjoys your company. If you start to project any of this "is he going to break up with me?!" stress onto him, chances are he will see it as more emotional anguish that he can't cope with at the moment, and break it up.
It's hard, and it's obviously tearing you up inside, but for both your sakes you need to be friendly, warm, funny, happy, supportive, caring etc when he calls you. And then hook up with one of your girlfriends and a tub of ben & jerrys afterwards and let it all out. Be strong!
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