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What Is It Like To Have Parents?
Hi! I am 13 and a girl. I do have parents but they don't love each other. It's like someone put two random people who have no chemistry in a house. They no longer sleep in the same room, it's been like that for very many years now. They never say I love you, don't hug or anything like that. I always hear people talking about how they want to have a marraige just as awesome as their parent's. They also say that they love being with their parents. Well, I am with my mom a lot but my dad is almost unbearable. He doesn't know how to have fun, he ONLY talks about my math homework. He won't bring me out for some father-daughter time ever. He isn't the dad type at all. He is tall, slightly under weight, and graying hair. I don't remember the last time he smiled. Yes he suffered from depression and he has colitis but it has been under control for a very long time. My mom groans when he walks in the house, I used to run to the door to greet him but lately I groan too. What is it like to have parents that love each other? What does a happy marriage look like? Thanks :)
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Wow. You are an incredibly insightful, intelligent girl. I can only answer this from my own experience, but just the way you wrote this letter made me want to reply to you. Specifically, you had two questions. 'What is it like to have parents that love each other?' and 'What does a happy marriage look like?' Parents who love each other are easily identified by respect. I believe that is the basis for all good, happy relationships. Your dad sounds very unhappy with himself. Naturally, that is going to radiate to all of his relationships. It may be somewhat harder for you to 'believe' in happy marriages, however, in no way, is it impossible in this environment. Two people who are happy together 'look' and 'act' as if they are happy. Very simplified advice, but is so true. When you can look your husband in the eye and talk to him and feel comfortable; when you see him come home from work and you feel good that he is home; you have a mutual respect for each other; you make time for each other, to talk, spend time, do things you both enjoy; you can be honest with him and feel confident that he will not in any way, 'try' to hurt you physically or emotionally; you put each others heart in each others hands and trust. That, in turn translates to a happy marriage. It looks just like it sounds. Confident, secure, safe, with a healthy, healthy dose of humor. I know this information for a fact because I too was raised in an insecure, unhappy home... however, I married the best husband in the world.
Oh, by the way, I can tell from your letter that you're a big reader. Keep reading... keep asking questions... I predict great things for you in your future.
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