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I'm in love with a wigger?
So I recently met this guy, thing is...I've known him sience we were little. we apparently stopped talking because he went to juvy wen he was 6 for grand theft auto. We started dating on christmas of 2011 (last year). My life has been amazing ever sience! I love being with him, around him, and anything that has to do with seeing him. Right now, he is 15 and I'm 13 (don't tell me I'm too young for anything I'm going to say). He is in a residential center right now until march. He has done stuff he isn't proud of, but he tells me that he loves me and is going to change once he gets out. I've also done things I'm not so proud of, so we can relate. I feel like i can trust him, but the thing is.....we usually see eachother on saturdays when he gets out on pass..but yesterday...he didn't show up. I have no idea what is going on and I'm kinda getting scared. I think something happened, but I don't know what. Time for the weird and personal stuff.....he had sex with one of my friends friend, but he only used her for sex....nothing else....he. never loved her, but he told her he did....my friend keeps telling me that he truly does love me, and that if he didn't...he wouldn't go through so much hassle just to be with me...we've been dating for almost 2 months, the girl he only used for sex dated him for 2 weeks, then he dumped her. He hasent tried to rush things with me at all! That is what im suprised about. I dont know what to do! I just think he would cheat on me once he gets out, because my mother keeps telling me that he is using me for a safe place to go when he gets out on his passes....soo... ..my questions are...
#1: Does he seem pretty honest?
#2: Do you think i should trust him?
#3: Do you think he would cheat on me when he gets out?
#4: Do you think he is just using me?
#5: What could I do to show him i truly love him?
#6: Is it weird to worry this much about him?
THANKIES!!!! XD
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I've read the other answers to your question and I agree with almost everything they say, except that this guy will never change. True, most people in his position don't change but that could be because they return to their old life, environment, friends, habits etc.
I think for this guy to have any hope of changing anything about his life will take a lot of work and possibly three things:
He has to WANT to change. No-one could force you do something you don't want to do, the same goes for him, Change must come from inside to be effective.
His environment would have to be completely different to that he was in before, far away from the temptation of the things he did before. Being back in the same place would possibly just lead him to old haunts and old 'friends' who will encourage him to join in with their bad habits again.
The amount of help and support he'll need would be colossal, possibly a 24/7 to keep him safe from all the temptation he'll meet.
At 13, this is a lot for you to take on. Your life would be on indefinite hold, schoolwork, friends, hobbies etc would all be forgotten until he was strong enough to resist temptation.
To be honest, this isn't something you could do on your own. I'd suggest that you remain friends with him IF YOU WANT TO, keep in touch by email, text, phone, occasional days/evenings out. If he does really love you, he might well be willing to clean his life up, knowing you're there to give him support.
However, I would also advise that you don't tie yourself to him in any way. AS we grow older, our tastes and feelings change; the boy I loved 'forever' at 15 became an idiot when I was 16! At the moment, nothing is written in stone, so keep it that way until you've looked around at other guys a bit and feel more sure of your feelings.
Hope this helps, please let me know how you get on? Best wishes X.
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I was your age when I dated a bad boy.
I thought his past was his past, and he would change for me like he promised he would.
HE NEVER DID.
People like that never change. They may for a couple of weeks, but they always go back to their old ways.
From past experience, and heart ache. Please move on.
1. He isn't honest. If he was honest, he wouldn't have used that girl. If he uses her, than he's going to use you. You are no different than that other girl in his eyes. Your young, naive, and very gullable. Guys like him, take advantage of that. He will tell you what you want to hear, just because he knows he can.
2. I wouldn't trust him. Why should you?
3. YES! He is only talking and keeping you around because you are the ONLY girl who will stick around through his immature bullcrap. He doesn't like you, or love you. As soon as he is out, he will be on his way without you.
4. YES!
5. Nothing. He doesn't deserve your time and effort.
6. Eh, its half and half. It's normal because you think that he cares about you; but he doesn't. He's selfish and will only continue to care about himself.
The thing that happened where he didn't show up, is because he doesn't care.
Trust me when I say this; MOTHERS ARE ALWAYS RIGHT. They don't just feed you all this nonsense just becaus they think they can. THey see what you don't. THey want what is best for their little girl. Your her babygirl, and she loves you. She wants to protect you, so please take her advice, and move on.
You do know that if you are hanging around someone with a bad reputatin, it makes others look down upon you too right? Other guys won't want you, and parents will not want their kids around you. Is he really worth all of that? Is this guy, who isn't giving you the proper love and attention worth ruining future relationships??
No. He isn't.
Move. On. NOW.
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Don't ever use the word wigger, That is racist, offensive and extremely insulting.
Now to answer your questions
1, If your boyfriend went and used your friend, Convinced her that he had feelings for her when he didn't then there is a very high chance that he is doing the same thing to do. You are nothing but just another girl he is keeping on the side lines. A player is a player, A cheater is a cheater. They aren't going to change for you even if they promise you they will. They chance and do things on their OWN time at their OWN time.
2, Why the hell would you trust someone like that? The kid pretty much has done everything possible to destroy your trust. I would never put my trust into a jerk like that.
3, Your friends are wrong, He doesn't love you. The guy loves the fact that he can use you because you are very likely gullible and believe anything he tells you. Someone like him uses that too his advantage and he knows that.
4, Is he being honest? No. The guy can't even being honest with himself he most certainly isn't going to be honest with you.
5, Is he cheating on you? Probably. The guy certainly didn't hesitate to use your friend and take her feelings into consideration, He isn't going to take yours into consideration. You can't change people, He needs to grow up and stop acting like a little boy and again that is something he will do on his own time not at your time.
You have known this kid for years, He is known to have a bad rep. The kid is already 15 and he is still known to cause trouble. Someone like that doesn't have goals in their lives, Right now he is going nowhere. If you want better then go out and find better because what you've describe isn't a relationship. You are just a doormat he can use whenever he pleases, Move on and find better for yourself and stop contacting the ass cause he isn't worth it.
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