|
Wrong Friends?
Hi.
So it is freshman year of high school and i go to a private all-girl school. I became friends with a group of girls which was originally a group of 9 including me now. Then two of the people in this group are no longer our friends because we don't agree with their values and do not enjoy their company. But then, two others are fading away a little bit to get away from the drama our group has. Now we are a group of 5. Now, in our group there is drama CONSTANTLY. One of the girls, Nicole, gets angry whenever someone doesn't put her first. For example, if you have plans with someone else and she wants to hangout too. Or, if you sit somewhere else at lunch and not by her. Or if she can't go to something and so you invite someone else she gets upset and made at you. WE ARE 15! I feel this is immature. She calls herself mean, likes boys for their money, likes to be called a bitch, is manipulative, and she yearns to find a way to intimidate other people she meets. She has admitted that she lacks confidence, especially with her personality. Also, Nicole snaps at all of us constantly, making the others upset and me angry. She makes her friends cry and is the center of all drama going on. Now, it is a new semester but not much has changed, especially in such a small school. Other groups of girls have said that our group is FULL of drama. It is true. To be honest, i am very tired of this. Even other people notice how bad it is. On another note, earlier in the school year i drifted away from one girl i was good friends with during the summer. We each went our own way. Nicole tries to use this against me, as if i "dumped" her and she tries to manipulate my actions by saying that I am going to dump her by the end of freshman year. She says this to me when i don't sit with her at lunch or things like that to get me to feel bad. There have been many times when i have greatly considered moving on to making new friends and going into another friendship group instead of this one because the drama and stress this group causes me is unhealthy and annoying. I find myself angry, annoyed, and irritable much more now that they have become my main social group. So, it has become time that I do something about it. Me and one other girl in the group, Marie, want to move away. We both agree that this is bad and do not see ourselves being friends with these people for much longer, let alone ever again. We have been talking and really want to move on. We both have sat at other tables before (there are mainly about 8 tables) and its not that big of a deal. But this time, we both really want to settle in to a whole new group. I am scared, stressed, and unsure of my true place in this school. I know that it is freshman year and its soon to decide where i belong forever but I feel like I need a new group/new people to go to if i am breaking away from the one i have. I am scared about settling in and pushing my way into an already set group of girls. It also stresses me out that I have to evaluate where i am going to sit/be by during the classes I have with my group of friends because I usually sit with them. Also, we have block scheduling, which means each class is 1 hour and 30 minutes. One of my "classes" is a free period that i happen to share with two of the girls in our group of five. I ALWAYS sit with them and if i start to break away and they notice and get angry, where do i go? I am worried that i am going to spend time alone if i don't have another group to hang out with at other times! I know that Nicole will get mad, and even the other two girls, beside Marie and I who will be branching out, will probably become annoyed too. Even though Nicole treats them very badly, they do not have the strength to stand up to her or move away like Marie and I are doing. I just want to know if you have any advice on ways to handle this situation with the least amount of conflict and worry. My goal is to find a new group of nice girls that make me happen, not ones that tear me down. But i don't want to do this so fast so that I ditch my old group without having a new one, leaving me isolated. Help me! Any tips, advice, or warnings? Thank you! I am a fifteen year old girl.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Don't let those girls control you. If you want to stop being friends with those girls (and you should, they sound horrible), then you have every right to go find another group to hang out with. At first, it will be hard to find other friends. The easiest thing to do is try to find some other girls who have classes with you (and your other friend) or share the same interests as you. Try to strike up a conversation. It might take time, but I'm sure you'll find better friends that are more fun to hang out with! I hope this helped and good luck :)
]
More Questions: |