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All I Want Is More Attention
Me – 20, rapidly approaching 21 in less than 3 months
Him - 22
I will be approaching my one year anniversary with my boyfriend in April, he is my longest relationship. I have always believed that he is the one, but currently there seems to be something lacking from our relationship. I think that this has to do with the fact that he hasn't been giving me a lot of attention lately, which has upset me.
We met online in November after being broken-hearted over my first love, but I had chosen another guy over him at first. That guy and I broke up after less than two months of dating, that night my boyfriend told me that he still liked me and we started talking a lot more in January. He would call me, we would text, we both enjoyed your talks together.
Back then I was hesitant in getting into another relationship, however I still had the desire to talk to him. We became phone sex buddies, because I wasn't interested in pursuing another relationship since I didn't feel ready for one, I realized that I needed to work on building my life quite a bit more.
Finally we met in March, it took awhile for us to meet for various reasons, one of them being that he lives out of state from me. After our first meeting, we decided to meet again, he also decided that he wanted to come down to celebrate my 20th birthday with me.
There was a bit of drama with my first love at first, who I started talking to again around the same time as my boyfriend. He had admitted to still being in love with me, that I was his first love and had wanted me. I decided to choose my boyfriend over my first love because even though I still had feelings for my first love, I liked my boyfriend a lot and I didn't want to hurt him again like I had in the past.
Fast forward to where we are now, we're in love and discussing a future together. However I feel like I'm not getting as much attention as he used to give me, hence what's lacking from our relationship, he no longer calls me every day. The last time that we hung out, we had sex a bunch of times, and watched Conan together. I was spending the night at his house, and at first he had wanted to fall asleep with me, but he had decided to play his new Star Wars MMO for a little bit first. He lost track of time, something that he shares in common with me, and ended up playing 3:00.
I do somewhat feel like his video games preside over me sometimes, I do not mind him playing his video games. I do mind after I hadn't seen him in over a month, because of the holidays, and he's playing World of Warcraft for hours which he had warned me about. He's in a guild that's very “strict” and he had told me that he may have to play, and he ended up having to play from 7:00 until 11:00. And when he would rather play a video game than fall asleep with me.
Since I feel so deprived of attention, I feel like my only option might be to start distancing myself from him and end up breaking up with him. I have always said that before you start distancing yourself from someone, you should break up with them. This isn't something that I want to do though, I really do love the relationship that we built together. After saying that and emailing him about how I felt, explaining how I want more attention and I assume that it's because I'm needy, I felt really bad afterwards.
I don't want to break up with him, and I don't want him to change anything about himself. I don't want to give him the ultimatum of it being either his video games or me, I just want more attention from my boyfriend.
Note - I wouldn't mind so much if we lived together and he played his video games rather than spent time with me, as long as we spent some time together. Sometimes I get in the mood where I really don't want to talk to anyone, and him playing his video games while I do something else really wouldn't be an issue.
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I can definitely relate to you on this one!
My boyfriend is a total gamer, I mean he is the kind of gamer that will stay up and play games for hours and hours. He has got a lot better this past year though.
Maybe come up with a schedule, maybe have him come up with a couple of days whereits all about you and him. Maybe a date night once a week, but in return you have to let him have his game time. By trying to control his gaming hours and time you are making him feel like he has to give it up. By scheduling a time where he devotes some time to you would be nice. Talk to him about it and see what he thinks. Tell him your concerns about this relationship in terms of spending time together. And in the end if you're not happy you're not happy. And you ahev to be real to yourself and him and let him know that what you need out of a relationship is attention and that you aren't getting it from him. Good luck and I hope it works out for you!
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You should talk to him about it. He might not realize that you feel this way. A lot of times when relationships aren't working out, it's because of lack of communication between people. Other then that, there isn't much else that you can do. Good luck with your relationship
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