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How do you live with Roommates, when you already know part of this isn't going to work?
So, my boyfriend and I are going to be moving in a couple of months and it's been decided (on his sister and his part, nobody really asked me) that we're all going to live together. I'm not going to say anything because I really can't and I understand why she wants out of her current living situation, so I'd feel horrible to keep her there, so I DO have to deal with it.
But I need to know HOW. I've gotten glimpses of how it's going to be to live with her because she's constantly just showing up here (uninvited, or she didn't even forewarn at least), when this happens she demands to be hung out with, she's bored, we have to go somewhere (mind you, i just got off work or just wasn't even in the mood to go out anywhere, etc.). Then if we don't go out, we just have to sit with her even if we're not remotely doing anything or speaking, we just have to be around her, or she'll just sit around us. She uses my things, takes my clothes (which she stretches them out cause shes bigger than me, so i can barely wear them anymore so they've practically become her clothes anyways), leaves her clothes all over my floor, eats my food, (all of these things without even mentioning it to me beforehand or even asks), I barely have money to feed two people, I'm not going to be able to feed three. I just feel like my boyfriend and I have suddenly adopted a child. I could go on and on.
The boyfriend says nothing, I know he's never going to say anything to her. So I just need advice on how to make sure my things are kept in order and how to figure out a way to give me and my boyfriend alone time because I know that's never going to happen I'm sure. Anytime we mention going anywhere, she's going to want to come along or get mad that we didn't invite her (I already don't tell her about plans me and him have made just so she won't know about it until it's too late for her to do anything). It's also gotten to the point where I already hide some of the things in my room, but others are harder to hide because me and my boyfriend share them so he has a tendency to leave these things out lying around for her to grab.
HEEEEEEEEEEEELPPPPP
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All three of you need to sit down and set some boundaries. Make it clear that she can only live with you (or you can only live with them) if certain conditions are met. Keep it as concise as you can.
1) Your room is off limits to her, hers is off limits to you. Get a lock for your door if you can.
2) Food is to be labelled with each person's name.
3) You and your boyfriend get a defined minimum amount of alone time.
Your boyfriend needs to understand how important your privacy is, and that you don't have the same emotional attachment to his sister that he does. Really, he should have discussed it with you hand, but you can't change that now.
If he won't stick up for you if these rules are breached, you need to question where his alliances lie. If you're living together and he's still putting others ahead of you, there's a problem.
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woah... using your clothes ?
thats not normal...
try telling its not normal to use others stuff without premission.
or use your boyfriend to tell her...
my sister isnt even allowed to come in my space.
but dont bring it to an arguement bcuz your boyfriend needs to choose a side then
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