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I wish i wasn't BISEXUAL!
NOTE: This seriously is NOT my personal question.
One of my closest friend was talking to me about a problem she has been having lately. She admits she is bisexual (attracted to both sexes) but says she does not want to be that way. She knows her parents won't accept the fact that she is bisexual, as it is FORBIDDEN in her house. She wishes she could just come out and expose the real her, but fears judgement, and her parents. Note: She has had a secret relationship with a girl. What advice should I give her? Should she tell her parents? Expose the real her? Please, I really don't know what to tell her.
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A lot of these rules we think parents have had, we just assume. Maybe they won't be thrilled, realistically I think even the most bisexually comfortable of parents wish for their young to have an uncomplicated & easy life & have a family of their own, but however unaccepting they are to begin with, if she really has decided this about herself & it isn't just a phase, they will see that it's the only way to be happy for her and if they are loving parents (which I believe they would be if she is worried they'll be against it, as it's more than likely they might be thinking they're being protective) - it would be odd for them to say "It is prohibited in this house to be bisexual" so we can only assume she is presuming this. However, unlike if she was gay, do they really need to be told if she's worried about upsetting them? And if she's thinking of practicing bisexual sex in her parents house & this is what she thinks they'll be against, I think that's pretty reasonable. It's their house, my parents wouldn't have allowed me to have straight sex in their house - but really, if you're old enough to be having sexual relationships you are old enough to have your own place. If your not able to afford your own place, go to your partners - it isn't fair to impose things on your parents in their house were they can't escape it. Good luck
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No one should ever be ashamed of who they are! You can't hide who you are or hwo you feel because you aren't being true to yourself. Her parents might not understand or they might be afraid. People are afraid of what they don't understand. I would support her and tell her to not be afraid of who she is. She is trying find out who she is and if you support her and are there for her that is the best thing you can do as a friend. The fact they you are coming on this site and asking a question on behalf of your friend shows me how much you really care about her. Tell her to not be afraid and that she shouldn't hide anything about herself.
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This is a really hard question to give advice on. One thing that would help to know would be her age.
First the age question. If your friend is between the ages of 14 and 18 I'm more inclined to believe she is more into experimenting with her sexuality than being truly bisexual. During these years, puberty and the hormones released play tricks on a persons sexual make up. This can cause some confusion in just who we are sexually. This does not mean that a 16 year old does not know who they are sexually. It just means they are more the exception than the rule.
If your friend is 18 or older then we are looking at a different view. At this age she is more mature and possible more sexually aware and experienced. She is more confident in her sexuality. Given these facts it is very possible that she now knows who she is sexually.
In college I knew girls that you could almost label lesbians they were so into same sex, sex. Once we all graduated these girls went straight heterosexual. The reason; lesbian sex was more available, safer and relieved the sexual tension the were under. How would you or would you place a label on them.
I don't like labels to begin with. Once you pin a label on something or someone it is extremely hard to remove. I also believe we are also entitled to our own sexuality and there is nothing wrong with being gay or bisexual as long as whatever you do sexually is consenting between you and your partner.
So to answer your question: My advice is if you friend is between 14 and 18 she should not tell anyone. Not because there is anything wrong with being bisexual but because others, mainly kids at school will have problems with her being bisexual and she does not need that problem. There are times when labeling is more of a problem than it is a solution and this is one of them.
As for telling her parents? I would say given her parents feelings towards bisexual-ism she should not tell them. They really have no need to know right now while she is living under their roof. I realize this may be a bit of a problem for her now, though telling them may be a bigger problem. Frankly her sexuality is her business and not her parents. They have no need to know.
When she moves out of her parents home if she feels the need to tell them that would be the appropriate time to do so.
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Tell your friend she does not have to define her sexuality for anyone until she's comfortable. That includes her parents. She should only tell her parents when she's ready to come out. The best thing you can do is be supportive of your friend. She can't change her sexuality, but she can control who gets to know about it and who doesn't.
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Hi! i think u should tell her that she should tell her parents. Because it will just stay on her mind and she will feel bad about not telling her parents about her problem.Peace and love :)
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