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I think I'm crazy.
It started about a week ago in school. (I'm only fifteen, if that helps any). I had to go to the bathroom. So I signed out, look the lavatory pass, etc. I was walking down the hallway and I felt like there was someone behind me. I turned around and there was no one there. so I was like 'okay i'm just crazy. whatever. no big deal' in a joking kind of thinking way. so I continued walking down the hallway and to the bathroom. and I felt like there was someone in there with me. I knew I was the only one in there but I felt like I wasn't. I didn't think much of it but it's been happening more lately.
last night at like 11 I was ready to go to sleep after a long night of writing a song. so I turned off my light and went into my bed, covered up cause I was freezing, etc. I was facing the wall. and I had to get comfortable so I wanted to turn around. but I couldn't. like for some reason I was scared to. i couldn't relax I was all tense. I knew nothing would happen because I was the only one there. but still I felt like there was someone watching me. I started talking to myself (which is normal for me) and said "gosh. i'm crazy. what's my problem? why can't I just turn around?" so I did and saw that I left my keyboard on. The red light on it was on. so I mean maybe I just felt like something wasn't right, and I was right because i didn't turn my keyboard off?
But still, I couldn't get out of bed to turn it off. I was scared. I was freaking out for no reason. and it was only like 8 or 9 feet away, not too far. I didn't turn it off until I woke up this morning. so I don't know what my problem is. but I feel like there's someone watching me. like right now, for instance, I feel like someone's reading this over my shoulder. but they're not. my mom's in the kitchen and so is my cat.
How crazy am I?
P.S. I have this sort of panic disorder, with agoraphobia. I've tried talking to my mom about it and she doesn't believe any of it. So I can't talk to her about medication or anything, and there's no one else I can talk to.
Also I wrote this in a hurry so I hope whoever reads this is able to understand most of it.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I can totally understand the panic attacks because there was a time where I couldn't even walk into walmart or a grocery store without my heart beating fast and just leaving. I just wonder if you were having these strange feelings because someone in your family or someone from your past that passed away, may be coming to tell you something. They may be watching over you, so that no harm will come to you. Has there been anything else that's changed in your life recently with your mom or dad that may be giving you these feelings too. You can write me back at my e-mail if you need anything else sweetie. Julie
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