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Did my friends and I pressure my bf into dating me?
So theres this guy at school thats now my boyfriend but before we were dating he kept saying " oh i dont wanna gf till i get my licence " blah blah blah but no we are dating. Did i or our friends presure him into this? Plz helpp
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There's a million angles to come from with this answer. First things first, just how pushy were you and your friends with this guy? Sometimes this can be a deterrent. You'll have your guy wondering why everyone is trying to get him with you. What wrong with you and why hasn't anyone else gone for you? When you get pushy with a guy, it raises questions. But seeing as how he did end up getting with you, maybe it's not you who has the problem. It could be him. Low self-esteem is a tricky thing. It doesn't matter if you're an AV club nerd, or the star quarterback, everyone deals with it...a lot of us deal quietly. He could be so excited that someone...heck...anyone is interested in him. He may have jumped at the opportunity. Either way, these are not good foundations for a relationship at all. I'm not saying that you need to break up with him. Speaking from experience, I often feel like I pressured my man to get with me. But in the end, I couldn't be happier. I love him, and I know loves me as well. But that story doesn't happen for everyone. What you need to do is talk to him, and ask him one of the most difficult and frightening questions you could possibly ask anyone in a relationship..."Are you happy?", and "Do you feel like maybe we rushed into this too soon?". I'm not going to lie and tell you that the conversation is gonna be all candy and rainbows, but it is necessary. Even if it turns ugly. Why is that bad thing? Because that leaves a HUGE possibility of cheating. If he does feel pressured, then it's because he either lost a bet, or he is genuinely concerned about hurting your feelings (I pray that if that's the case then the latter is true). And if he's even slightly concerned about your feelings then there's the possibility of him screwing around behind your back. I am not saying, by any means, that he would do that because I don't know him. I say it because the two worst possible things to happen to any relationship, is to walk in on them in a compromising position, or hear it from someone else. If you hear it from someone else, it will obliterate any trust that someone would have for their partner. And that hurts a lot worse than just making a clean break. On the other hand, you may find out that he didn't feel pressured at all, but that he was just waiting for a cue from someone that you were interested. But, you may find out that he does feel like he rushed into something he wasn't ready for. Either way, in the end you will know the truth. You never wanna stay with someone just for the heck of it...whether it be status, self confidence, or just the fact that mommy and daddy didn't hug you enough. There is someone out there waiting for a girl just like you. Being patient SUCKS! But in the end it's worth it. I promise.
So remember,
1. Talk to him. That's most important! And talk to him alone!
2. Focus on you and the person you wanna be so that you can find your match
3. Be prepared for bad news, but don't let it break you. Your love is worth the wait, and he will be glad he waited for someone like you!
Best of luck!
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